#bruce ends up bribing him with more coffee

[tiredmortal]

Absolutely love these tags.

I feel like the majority of the batfam would be enamoured with this weird but strangely cute child. They come to the realisation later that their current moniker for him is fucking subpar when they realise that he’s a possible baby eldritch being?

Tim and Bruce however would be suspicious as fuck, their paranoia kicks in and goes into overdrive. They’re both just squinting over the top of their coffee mugs during family meals coming up with conspiracy theories in their head.

I like to imagine that Tim is the one who finds out first, and it’s either entirely by accident or when he tries to subtly question Danny he’s just nonchalant and is like:

Oh no, you are entirely right to be suspicious of me.

And Tim is just standing there because this does not compute:

Why would he reveal that so easily? Does he think that no one would believe Tim over him? Or does he plan on killing him so that he can replace him with a clone or maybe an alien and bury his body in the forest just off of Wayne Manor where probably no one would discover his remains?

While Tim is contemplating this— completely sleep deprived by the way— Danny gets weirded out by the way he’s just staring at the wall, expression blank, hands cradling a a coffee that’s probably to hot to be holding it the way Tim is and just sort of leaves. Tim comes find him later to demand an explanation, ready to full on interrogate this tiny child, and Danny just tells him. Tim is suspicious of his willingness and just a tiny bit disappointed that he didn’t get to enact his plan, or his back-up plan, or his back-up, back-up plan.

Anyway, I see this going two ways, either Tim:

a.) Believes his story wholeheartedly, and is like— yeah, okay, that checks out. That is a thing that seems entirely plausible.

Or—

b.) Is just very disbelieving about what whole thing and dubious of Danny’s explanation and proceeds to ignore said explanation and comes up with his own theories and assumptions, either assuming that maybe Danny was brainwashed. Children are very susceptible to it after all. He reasons to himself, or maybe he’s like:

No. My alien theory fits better and I will die on this hill if you attempt to convince me otherwise.

And Danny is exasperated and done with everything and:

Fine, Sure— whatever. This is a thing now.

Tim then leaves after nodding, and Danny is just staring after him. Tim goes to say fuck you to Dick, because there is definitely no such thing as too much paranoia and his reasons were completely justifiable before also leaving once again, humming while he nearly skips to find Bruce so that he can inform him of the alien that they’re currently harbouring illegally.

De-aged Danny sitting at the Wayne Manor dinner table struggling with his meal:

Batfam: you good there bud? :3

Danny, muttering under his breath: why are my hands so small?

[dccomicsimagines]

Bruce’s Birthday - Batfamily Imagine

Requested by Anon - Can I get a birthday with Bruce and the batsibling!reader? Batkids mayhem please

***

Cass peered down at Bruce from her place in the rafters. Below was the Gotham Children’s Charity gala. People in fancy, flashy clothes, milling around. She heard the annoying murmurs of gossip and fake personas. 

Bruce’s shoulders held an unfamiliar tension. She tilted her head. His lips pressed together as he made small talk with a few businessmen. She swore she saw a sadness that felt unknown to her. 

��Cass, you promised you wouldn’t hide up here,” Tim said. He juggled a plate of food in one hand as he shuffled on the rafter to her side. Cass took the plate and helped herself to some baked brie.  

“Watching.” She looked back at Bruce who was now moving through the crowd toward Selina, who had just entered in a sparkly red dress. Cass smiled, noting Bruce seemed happier, but the sadness was still there. Hidden, but barely.

“Yeah, it’s quite a bore this year.” Tim swung his legs as he settled down beside her. He took a grape from the plate. “I wondered if we should have set up Two Face to rob the place or something?”

Cass looked at Tim, narrowing her eyes. “Bad joke.” She turned back to Bruce to find him whispering in Selina’s ear. “Bruce is sad.”

Tim followed her gaze. He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“He’s sad. He hides it, but it’s stays.” Cass gave Tim the plate and wrapped her arms around herself. The simple black dress was comfortable, but she missed her pajamas. After discovering how comfortable they were, she would only change out of them after being bribed with the promise of more cozy pjs. She was on her twelfth set now.

“Well, his birthday is coming up. He always gets sad around this time. It’s probably because of (Y/N).” Tim took a bite of the baked brie, groaning at the taste. 

"(Y/N)?" Cass blinked. She remembered Alfred and Dick mentioning you in stories about Dick’s early Robin days. You were Bruce's oldest child. Apparently, you haven't been home in almost seven years.

"Yeah, they used to make a big deal out of it." Tim chuckled. "Dick told me about it. I wanted to try to do what they did, but...I think it will just make him sad that they won't come home."

"Why?" Cass studied Tim, noting how he wouldn't look her in the eye.

Tim pursed his lips. "I don't know why actually. Dick won't talk about it, neither will Alfred. Must have been a big deal though."

Cass looked back at Bruce. He was staring at the far wall, not really seeing anything. She tapped her chin as an idea slowly began to form in her head.

***

Dick was just settling down on his couch with a bowl of popcorn in hand and Barbara next to him when Cass suddenly climbed out from under the coffee table. He almost spilled the popcorn, but Barbara caught it.

"I knew she was there," Barbara laughed, reaching up to close Dick's jaw. She offered popcorn to Cass.

Cass' eyes brightened as she helped herself and sat cross-legged on the coffee table. "Thank you."

Dick's heart calmed. He chuckled to himself. "What brings you here, Cassie? You don't normally come to Bludhaven unannounced?"

Cass tilted her head, studying Dick with a carefulness that made his hair stand on end. "Bruce’s birthday."

"Yes, it’s next Sunday." Barbara sighed, muting the TV when a loud commercial started to play. "Do you need help finding something for Bruce?"

Cass nodded. She suddenly stood up and walked over to the wall. Dick leaned over, frowning slightly when she picked up the picture of you, him, and Bruce. It had been taken a year after Dick arrived in the manor. The three of you were in Alfred's garden, helping him tend it as punishment for breaking yet another vase.

"That's an old picture," Dick said after Cass held it out to him. "I think Bruce probably has that one."

Cass shook her head and pointed to you. You were so young, so bright eyed. Dick missed you so much that his heart shattered into pieces.

"That's (Y/N). You know about them, Cass," Barbara said after Dick couldn't get himself to speak.

"Bruce is sad. Misses (Y/N)." Cass pointed at you again. "We find (Y/N)."

"No, we can't do that. (Y/N) doesn't want to talk to Bruce." Dick swallowed past the lump in his throat.

Barbara eyed Dick curiously. "So you know where they are?"

Dick's eyes widened. He suddenly realized he might as well be in a viper's den. Cass leaned closer, narrowing her eyes.

"Fine, I do. (Y/N) didn't cut me out of their life. Jay probably knows too. I made sure to reintroduce him once he...got better." The blood ran out of Dick’s face as he found his phone was suddenly in Cass's hands.

"Cass, no." Barbara held her hand out for the phone. "I love you want to help Bruce, but what happened between (Y/N) and Bruce is between them."

Cass shook her head. "How long will they hurt each other?" She looked at Dick's phone before carefully handing it to Barbara.

Dick frowned. He wondered if maybe he should intervene? Seven years had been long enough. Eventually it would be too late for you and Bruce.

He tucked his phone back in his pocket. Now wasn’t the time to revisit the past. He wrapped his arm around Barbara’s shoulders.

“Cass, you aren’t staying?” Barbara asked. Dick blinked, finding Cass by the window.

“No, enjoy your night.” She opened it swiftly and leaped out into the night. Dick hummed, turning to share a look with Barbara.

“I should be worried, shouldn’t I?” Dick bit his lip when Barbara shrugged. 

“Everything will be fine. Now Hunk-Wonder, start the movie.” She leaned forward, kissing him. All thoughts of you and Cass left his mind.

***

You paced your office at the D.E.O. “I don’t care what you have to do. Kill the project. We don’t mess with Gotham,” you snapped into your phone. The agent on the other end stammered. “No, cut it off now or I’ll be down there and you don’t want me down there.”

The agent sighed. “Yes, chief.” You hung up the phone, slamming it on your desk. Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm down. 

“Fuck me.” You collapsed in your office chair and spun around to look out your window. It was the Gotham skyline. You snorted. It was missing the smog. Mister Bones thought it was funny to give you a Gotham projection on your fake window. You might have to slip him another exploding cigar again.

Your heart panged, but you pushed it away and turned back to your desk. There were files to look through, memos to send, mission to approve. You rubbed your eyes, wishing you could go home to your apartment. Maybe call the number that person in the bar gave you last weekend? 

However, you shook your head and opened the first file. In the corner of your eye, you noticed the date. A lump formed in your throat, but you swallowed past it and focused on the task at hand.

***

The manor library was quiet. Cass’ eyes were on the door as it swung open and Tim walked in. He was consumed by his tablet.

“Tim,” Cass said as she dropped down from the top shelf of the bookshelf and landed silently behind him. 

Tim flinched, almost dropping his tablet. “Geez, Cass.” He let out a shaky breath, pressing a hand against his chest. 

“Bruce’s birthday is in three days.” She held up three fingers. “We need to get (Y/N) here.”

“You’re still on that, huh?” Tim ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. It’s not a matter we should meddle with. Have you talked to Dick?”

Cass nodded. “He will not help, but I got their number.” She tapped her temple. “We find (Y/N) and bring them here. For Bruce.”

Tim pursed his lips. “Like kidnap them? (Y/N) was pretty much a badass. Even if we get them here, then what?” He reached out and put a hand on Cass’ shoulder. “We can’t make them get along. Do you even know why they fought?”

“No, but it doesn’t matter.” Cass brushed Tim away. “Time is short, life is short. We make this happen because we are family.”

A big sigh escaped Tim. Cass smiled, knowing she won. “Okay, okay. I’ll help, but this was your idea. If this blows up, it’s all your fault,” Tim said, handing Cass his tablet. “Type in their number, let’s see what we can find.”

Cass wanted to dance. She knew this would a birthday Bruce would never forget.

***

You knew something was wrong from the moment you stepped into your apartment. Carefully setting down your keys and bag of takeout on the side table, you pulled out your collapsed baton and flipped it to it’s full length. 

A breeze blew through the window. You raised an eyebrow. “Dick? Jason?” You called, turning the corner to your kitchen quickly only to find no one there. Goosebumps rose on your skin as you heard a creak down in your bedroom. 

You moved silently down the hall. A sharp breath gasped behind you. You spun, aiming the baton to hit the person in the face. “Ouch, my nose,” a boy in a Robin suit said, stumbling back and holding his face.

“Why the fuck are you in my house?” You kicked his feet out from under him and held him down with a foot on his throat. He was young, dark hair. Standard Robin. Racking your brain, you tried to remember what his name was. Dick mentioned him once or twice. “Tim, right?”

“Yeah, nice to meet you.” He gripped your ankle. “Can you get off?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” A soft almost silent thump came from behind you. You raised your hand and caught a fist that shot out of the darkness next to you. “Batgirl?”

“Yes.” She stepped out into the light. You took in her in. She was little, but strong. Her face hidden by her mask completely. “We’re here because of Bruce.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You removed your foot from Tim’s neck and stepped back to eye the new Batgirl. What was her name? Jason mentioned she was the daughter of David Cain. Trained to be the ultimate living weapon, but she chose her own path. Cass? That was what he called her?

She helped Tim up. You threw him a box of tissues for his nose. “What does D...Bruce want?” Your gut twisted at the slip. You made yourself stop calling him Dad years ago. It made it less painful.

“Bruce is sick,” Cass said, tilting her head. The look that Tim gave her left you doubting it. 

“And that has to do with me because?” You turned your back on them and went to grab your food by the door. The two followed you to the kitchen as you got out a plate. After a moment, you grabbed two more. 

“He misses you,” Tim said. His nose made him sound stuffed up. You took out an ice pack from your freezer and handed it to him. He gave you a bloody smile, pressing it to his face. 

“Right.” You opened containers, splitting food among the three plates. Luckily, you always bought more than you could eat. Leftovers were must with the D.E.O demanding schedule.

“He does.” Cass took a seat, pulling off her mask. You paused, noting she looked very much like Lady Shiva. Now it all made sense. “You need to come to him.”

You set plates in front of them. “How did you even find out where I live? Or anything about me for that matter?”

Tim and Cass shared a look. 

“I’m going to kill Dick,” you muttered under your breath. “What do you want to drink?” You dug into your fridge. 

“Thanks,” Tim said as he happily took a can of soda. Cass stayed with water. You joined them with your own drink.

“Thank you for feeding us.” Cass’ voice was so soft. You smiled at her. 

“Well, you are family, I guess.” You watched as Tim happily dug into his plate. “Bruce is always picking up new kids.”

Cass frowned, ignoring the food. “You’re angry.”

You took a bite of your food. “At Bruce, I was. Now I’m just...over it.” You shrugged. “He’s going to be him. Nothing I can do about it.”

“He is stubborn. Runs in the family.” Tim took a sip of his soda, smirking when you glared at him. “Alfred said it, not me.”

Alfred’s name made your heart ache. You needed to call him more often. “Yeah, I see you’ve taken to the role of annoying kid siblings very nicely. Dick must be feeling the karma now.” You laughed. “He’s the worst. Always messing with me.”

“Dick didn’t tell us where you were, we found you on our own.” Cass poked at the food on the plate, wrinkling her nose slightly. “Bruce’s birthday is tomorrow.”

You sighed, pushing your plate away as your stomach soured. “I know.”

“Come.” Cass reached out to touch your hand. 

“It’s not that simple.” You flinched away from her. Tim glanced between the two of you, eyes wide. “Some things you can’t come back from.”

“Why?” Cass tilted her head.

You stood up suddenly, taking your plate to the counter. “He wished I’d never been born. Said I was a mistake. I told him he should have died in the alley with his parents.” You winced at the sharp intakes of breath behind you. “But it’s fine.”

“You’re tired.” Her chair scraped and suddenly she was beside you. “You hurt. Bruce hurts too. It’s time to forgive.”

Your temper flared, but you let out a slow breath to cool it. “Why does it matter so much to you?” 

Cass swallowed hard. “Bruce needs you. He isn’t...whole.” She pressed a hand against her chest. “I know people who have regrets because they let things fester. I don’t want that for our family. Jason has made amends, now you should.”

“Well, Jay always needed Bruce. Even when he was younger.” You pursed your lips. Jason craved Bruce’s attention more than anything. Still did. You remembered being jealous, but it gave you time to pursue your own interests without Bruce noticing. “I don’t care.”

“(Y/N), I know it’s not my place and I just met you today, but you’re basically like my sibling with how much Alfred and Dick talk about you,” Tim said. You turned to look at him. He played with his fork, not meeting your eye. “I lost my mom and dad. I wish every day that I could tell them I love them one last time. Bruce isn’t getting younger and things are getting more dangerous...well, I think you don’t want to regret not reaching out or at least trying, right?” 

You sighed. Cass nudged your arm. You glanced between the two of them. “Fine.” 

Cass smiled, eyes lightening up. “Really?” Tim dropped his fork in surprise.

“I’ll go, but don’t get your hopes up. Bruce is still a stubborn pig.” You rolled your eyes as Cass suddenly hugged you. You blinked at the touch before gently patting her back. Tim hesitated, but you opened your other arm and let him join too. “For what it’s worth, it was nice to meet you two at last either way.”

“Ditto.” Tim grinned. Cass just buried her face deeper into your shoulder.

***

Bruce rolled his eyes at the sound of clattering in the kitchen. “Alfred wouldn’t be happy to find you in here,” he said as he opened the door to find Dick, Tim, Barbara, and Stephanie in the middle of attempting to make breakfast.

Dick and Tim were covered in flour. Barbara was by the stove, frying what looked to be turkey bacon. Steph happily chopped fruit. 

Bruce noticed the swelling around Tim’s nose. He made a note to ask him about it later.

“Alfred asked us to help,” Dick said, pushing Tim away from him. Tim laughed, grabbing a towel to try to clean up. 

“He did?” Bruce raised an eyebrow. 

“Alfred is having tea with a guest out in the garden. He wanted you to join him once you woke up,” Barbara said, rolling her eyes at Dick and Tim. 

“Don’t worry. It’s not Selina.” Steph smirked as she ate a piece of banana. Bruce narrowed his eyes at her, but she just laughed. 

Bruce hummed. “Alright. Barbara, don’t let the boys near the stove.” He walked out with the sound of Dick and Tim’s protests behind him. A rare smile tugged at his lips. 

For the one hundredth time today, he missed you. He imagined you would have been in the kitchen, keeping Dick and Tim out of trouble while baking your special birthday breakfast that only you could make. His heart ached. Why did he push you away when he should have been pulling you close?

Cass was waiting by the doors to the garden. She skipped up to him and kissed his cheek. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.” He smiled, frowning at the glee hidden in her eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Alfred’s waiting.” She gave him a quick hug and ran off. 

Bruce stepped out into the garden. He walked the path toward the place Alfred always had tea. Laughter reached his ears as he approached. He stopped just before the final corner, listening.

“That cannot be true. You must be pulling my leg,” Alfred said, chuckling in a way Bruce hadn’t heard in a long time. “They can’t have created a Superman musical.”

“Yep, it’s all the hype in NYC right now. Apparently, it got nominated for a few Tonys.” Bruce’s heart stopped. That voice. Could it be? Bruce peeked around the corner. “I think one of the songs goes like ‘Superman, he flies as much as he sings. Superman, he does all the things.’ Honestly, it’s stuck in my head,” you laughed hard. You were older, more mature.  A lump formed in his throat. His little baby grew up.

Alfred shook his head. “Unbelievable what the theater has become.” 

“I’ll get you tickets next time you’re in town,” you said, picking up your tea cup. 

Alfred clicked his tongue, standing up. “I’m happy you are finally home, Mx. (Y/N).” He poured another cup of tea in the third cup on the table. “Now I believe it’s time for me to go in and check on the others.”

“I’ll come with...” You stood up, stopping when you turned to meet Bruce’s eye. Bruce almost ducked back around the corner, but stopped himself. 

Alfred patted your shoulder. “You both have much to discuss.” He walked toward Bruce, leaning over to whisper. “Don’t you dare blow this, Master Bruce. I doubt you’ll get another chance.”

Bruce pursed his lips, watching as Alfred left. He hummed, turning back to you when you took a breath. 

“So...” You shoved your hands in your pockets, rocking on your feet like you used to do when you were a child. Bruce felt a smile tug at his lips. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.” He approached you slowly. To your credit, you didn’t move away. “(Y/N)...you’ve grown.”

You snorted. “Yeah, that happens after seven years.” 

“I heard you are pretending to work for Broadway,” Bruce said, raising an eyebrow. The Batman in him wanted to interrogate you. The father in him cursed the Batman in this moment. “But you are actually working for the D.E.O.” 

You chuckled, rolling your eyes as you looked over his head at the manor. “Sure, I am. I should have known that would be the first thing you would say.” Bruce could feel you distancing yourself. 

“I...” Bruce sighed. He pressed a hand over his mouth. “I always mess up with you, don’t I?”

Your eyes widened in slight surprise. “Yeah, you do. I suppose you do it to all of us except maybe the new kids. Tim and Cass seem very nice. Maybe a little too intrusive?”

Bruce blinked. He remembered Cass and Tim went off comms last night. Tim’s bruised nose made more sense. You always aimed for noses. A habit he tried to break you of. “They brought you here, didn’t they?”

“Mostly Cass, but Tim was there too.” You shrugged. “They convinced me to come. Cass wanted me here for your birthday because she said you missed me.” 

He blinked. Of course Cass would have noticed that. “That’s true.” Bruce took a step toward you. “So much. I miss your laugh, your smile, the way you make fun of me at every turn.” His chest was heavy with rare emotion. “You’re my child. I loved you since you were first put in my arms.” A lump formed in his throat. “I was angry and I didn’t mean what I said to you all those years ago. I’ve regretted every day since.”

A cloud covered the sun. Your face disappeared in the shadow. A low hum came from you. Bruce wondered if this was how everyone else felt when he responded with only an indecipherable hum. 

The cloud passed. Bruce saw tears in your eyes as the light revealed your face. “I’m sorry too. What I said in return...unforgiveable.”

Bruce opened his arms. “(Y/N), I’m happy you are home.”

You stared at him for a moment and suddenly you were flying into his arms. Breath left Bruce’s lungs. You were bigger and stronger now. “I love you, Dad.” You whispered softly, hiding your face into his shoulder.

“I love you too, my little cookie monster.” Bruce smirked when you scoffed, pulling away to look him in the eye.

“Don’t ever call me that again, old man.” You narrowed your eyes as Bruce laughed, clapping a hand on your shoulder. 

“Sure.” Bruce led you over to the tea table. “Now I want to hear everything.” You tensed, but Bruce held up his hands. “Nothing you don’t want to tell me and I actually prefer if you don’t tell me about the D.E.O.” 

You snorted. “Wow, you have gotten softer. I thought Dick and Jay were lying.” You took a seat and added sugar to Bruce’s tea. Bruce smiled, realizing you remembered how he took his tea.

“We’ll spar later and then you can see how soft I’ve become.” Bruce studied you. When you were younger, Alfred always claimed you looked a lot like Bruce. Bruce never could see it. He always saw your mother, but now, you were definitely his child and he couldn’t be prouder.

***

Cass tittered, watching you and Bruce from a window on the second floor. The two of you were laughing. Her lips pulled up in a big grin.

“How are they doing?” Tim asked suddenly. Cass jumped a little, narrowing her eyes as he laughed. He stepped up beside her to look out the window too. “I’m getting better at sneaking.”

“Better, but not great.” Cass snorted as Tim gasped. She ignored his protests. Bruce’s shoulders relaxed. His jaw loose, smile lines appeared on his face. She sighed.

“What?” Tim asked once he realized Cass wasn’t listening to him. 

Cass looked at Tim, reaching up to touch his bruised nose. Tim winced. “Bruce is happy now.”

Tim looked out the window. He smirked. “Yeah, I think he is.” Cass wrapped her arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder. Both of them kept their eyes on Bruce and you. The family was finally reunited.

[themurderofcrowscollective]

Thinking of Bruce Wayne just... taking a nap. Like either a dad nap where he's kinda sprawled out on his chair, a nap he can't get out of where his kids are on top of him, or a nap he was bribed into by Clark. Naps are nice, and Bruce likes to nap. Waking him up from a nap will give you different reactions depending on who you are and what you woke him up for. If you're Alfred, he's tolerable but a bit grumpy. If you're one of his kids, he's decent and is willing to listen to whatever you have to say. If you're Clark, he's grumpy in a cute way and demands more sleep. 9 times out of 10, Clark joins Bruce for the nap and they just sleep a TON. Bonus if the kids also sleep with the two, cause then Bruce wakes up surrounded by the ones he loves and has no idea who's foot is in his face and where he begins or where Clark ends. And of course, there's a list for what you woke him up for. 1. If you're his kid, waking him up either means three things: Food's ready and Alfred wanted him to know, you and a few others are going to go out for patrols, or you want his permission for something. It's common knowledge that if Bruce's asleep and you're sleepy, just join him quietly. 2. If you wake him up for business, galas or important missions, he's going to be a bit grumpy but give him something to eat and some coffee, and he'll be tolerable. And finally, 3. Waking him up for no reason at all will have him be grumpy, just completely grumpy. Good thing this is a mistake not often made, as everyone knows only to wake him up for some reason and not for no reason. Yeh

[coolcoolcoolbutwtf]

Receptionist Danny working in the main Wayne lobby

First few days at the job site and Danny was already regretting getting this job.

Why?

Because this exact scenario had been repeated five times already just today. Not as persistent as THIS one though. God he is so tired of this bull. It got tiring after the third time now he's just tired and annoyed.

A bad combo considering Danny the "Town Menace Phantom" Fenton was beginning to lose the little patients he had left.

' just count down from ten like Jazz had taught me years ago'. Danny gave a sigh and kept repeating the mantra in his mind.

He has to stay strong he fought ghost for years! What is a few minutes worth of questions from a few eager journalist? He could handle Wes how could they be any worse?

Oh who was he kidding certainly not himself! Not after having suffered a day full of questions about shit he didn't know squat about.

This situation with this gender bent Wes was WORSE considering Danny couldn't just tell her to piss off. The others had just asked a few questions or had gotten turned down regarding questions. Not TO bad. He could handle it. He still kinda liked this job. Well, he likes the work benefits. It was the main reason he applied after all.

So give him some credit this was the sixth harpy "journalist" to come sniffing around after having gotten wind of a new employee in the main office. Though their sources must be bad. He was just a receptionist! Not the new head of the financing department or Bruce Wayne's new secretary, leave him alone!

He doesn't know what the company boss does??? Why ask him? How would lil' old receptionist Danny Fenton know!

Has he not suffered enough?? His suffering with this specific harpy had been going on for the past twenty five minutes.

"So, where does Bruce Wayne leave for during his meetings? A new woman? Man? Trouble in the family?"

Vicky Vale as she had introduced herself before had officially made Danny hear his last strained thread of patients fraying. He could only take so much before the menace in him gott done with this nonsense. Time for Ms Vale to go away, fuck off and not come back. Danny menace mode ON now.

Smiling the most customer service™ smile he could manage Danny responded in the flattest tone he was capable of.

"Well to fuck your mom of course, Ms Vale."

And of course at just the moment the older receptionist Ms Linda Smith that had been in charge of showing Danny the territory before retirement finally came back. With two coffee cups in her hands. She had taken off on her break the moment she spotted Ms Vale walking towards the front desk. She promised to grab him a coffee on her way back. Truly abandoning him to the wolves. Or wolf. She had bribed him and Danny hadn't even known what kind of suffering awaited him. Ms Linda had started speaking.

"Okay Danny no we don't---

Danny didn't know exactly what was up with the big boss and his family. Something was definitely up but he didn't think it was bad.

"And your dad, because we here at Wayne enterprises support the LBGTQIA community. Thank you and leave.

((((((((((((End )))))))))))) :)

Thank you for reading! I might do some more for this idea again. This is basically just the idea by @some-rotten-nest link below. I've had a similar idea about Danny being an evil assistant before. Not a receptionist though. It was fun writing this I keep thinking about all the interesting scenarios that could play out in this (Au?) Idea. Also I just wanted to test the waters. I've never written anything and actually posted it before. I hope this was okay. Um bye and have a good day oh am I kidding have a good night!

This idea is based on this https://www.tumblr.com/some-rotten-nest/725017913035276288/danny-fenton-a-new-receptionist-at-wayne by the amazing @some-rotten-nest ! I was just so inspired by it, all of my creative instincts were just itching to make something for this<3

>:D

[byoldervine]

Unoriginal Writing VS Field Trips

A lot of writers worry that their ideas have been done before or rely too much on existing scenarios. And you absolutely do need to be original if you want to write your own book that you intend to publish professionally. But a lot of writers can also take this the other way and start worrying that every single idea they have, no matter how fleshed out and unique it actually is, is just a version of a very broad and generic trope, and so it’s automatically bad and nobody will ever want to read it since it’s all been done before

Let me tell you about what has been dubbed the Peter Parker Field Trip in the fanfic scene

The Peter Parker Field Trip is an incredibly specific type of one-shot fanfiction about Peter Parker visiting Avengers Tower with his class on a school field trip while having to try and hide his status as the Avenger Spider-Man, usually along with hiding the fact that he’s basically been adopted by the Avengers and they all treat each other as family, if not legally having been adopted by Tony. And this is only the summary, it gets way more specific from here to the point where you can follow each story beat by beat and the vast majority of these fics will follow them:

1. Peter discovers that the adults arranged for him to go on the trip despite trying to get out it/telling them not to sign the permission forms. Peter tries to talk his way out of it on the way but fails. Sometimes the teacher will discourage him from lying about having a Stark Internship while they’re there

2. While they’re on the bus Flash teases Peter about how now everyone’s gonna know he doesn’t actually have a Stark Internship, meanwhile Peter’s freaking out about everyone realising he’s more than just an intern

3. The kids arrive at Avengers Tower and pile out of the bus to be greeted by some of not all of the Avengers, usually with Steve and/or Tony leading the introductions. Peter tries to keep his head down but the Avengers either spot him or were actively looking out for him, but at this point they usually don’t acknowledge him too much

4. An actual intern hands out access passes to the kids, everyone has level one clearance except for Peter who has Level Ten Alpha Clearance™️, which is even higher than most of the other Avengers and is reserved for Tony and those closest to him. Peter asks if he can just get a regular pass like the others but the intern says they don’t have any extras, usually while being starstruck at meeting Peter

5. The kids go through a security scanner, through which Jarvis announces their security clearance. Peter has his Level Ten Alpha Clearance™️ broadcast to the entire class, leaving everyone shocked. Flash thinks Peter, resident Poor Kid McOrphanface, bribed Tony Stark, known billionaire, for higher clearance

6. The tour goes ahead. They meet Bruce either in his lab or the medical bay. Bruce has a pleasant chat with Peter, who quickly helps him with something while he’s there. People are shocked that Peter works with Bruce on science stuff

7. The tour goes ahead. They meet Natasha in the training room. She offers to give a demonstration and has Peter come up to fight her. The class are shocked when he doesn’t get instantly thrown on his ass, even though overall it usually ends with him on his ass

8. The tour goes ahead. They meet Thor either on the landing pad as he arrives back home or he’s in the kitchen making an absolute mountain of pop tarts. He’s the one that comes closest to leaking Peter’s Spider-Man identity because he has no social awareness and just wants to wrap the Man of Spiders in a bear hug

9. The class break for lunch. There’s an ungodly amount of coffee machines in the cafeteria. Everyone is talking about Peter. Flash is talking shit. Clint then proceeds to drop out of the vents to ask Peter about either Mario Kart or babysitting his kids, potentially both. Clint then realises the tour was today, apologises and goes back into the vents. Peter can’t even muster up the energy to be embarrassed

10. As the tour continues, Flash is getting more vocal about his dislike for all this. There’s a 50/50 chance he’s going to get physically violent with Peter. If he doesn’t, he’ll ask Tony Stark why he’s let Peter lie about all this stuff only to be told harshly that Peter is Tony’s kid or something similar. The bullying will be discovered and Flash will be kicked out. If he does get violent with Peter, one of the Avengers will stop him, Tony will defend Peter while revealing that Peter is his kid or something similar in the process, then will kick Flash out

I just described to you an ungodly number of fics beat by beat. And people don’t just read one of them and call it a day; we consume each and every one of them despite knowing the exact plot and having read it a gazillion times

And I think that these fics are the most obvious example of the fact that people don’t care about the repeated use of tropes or clichés or plotlines; if they like it, they’ll like it. They’ll be willing to read those tropes a million times over, even if they know what’ll happen at every turn. And that proves that it’s not the use of tropes that matters, it’s the way you use the tropes. Even if it’s just a new way of wording it, people will enjoy it. It doesn’t have to be completely new or original, it just has to be out there

[avelnfear]

Chapter Six

Masterlist

Tim stared down at his computer screen, not typing anything, just staring. It had been months, months, since his parents had talked to him on the all important 18th birthday. The talk had been enlightening and infuriating, but he was so happy that they’d finally seen fit to tell him that he never had an imaginary friend for the first few years of his life, instead he had a twin. That was information that totally should have been left unsaid for 14, fourteen!, years. 

Tim sighed, again, knowing his thoughts usually weren’t this sarcastically spiteful. He had been searching every way he could think of to find his missing twin, but nothing had worked. His parents hadn’t even left a birth certificate behind when they abandoned their child. There was no record of a Nathaniel Drake anywhere he looked, which made sense because Tim didn’t remember Neil speaking very much. He’d come back from one of the hangouts with Jason’s new roommate, Danny, to find that one of the automatic searches had turned up nothing.

This didn’t help with his already low mood, but Tim supposed he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up on a day like today. It had started with Alfred cutting him off again, which was normally fine because Tim didn’t even like coffee but today was different. He’d been up the entire night diving into yet more searching for his twin, but he’d found nothing. The only good thing about the day was being able to cancel a stupid meeting for shareholders at Wayne Enterprises for “outside commitments” that he didn’t tell them was just a hangout. 

Speaking of hangouts, he should probably see if Kon could come to one soon, if only because he wanted some comfort from his best friend. He’d been searching for so long, and he hadn’t found a single clue. Tim had a good brain for facts and memorizing, but he had a tendency to throw out anything he didn’t view as important anymore. An imaginary friend was certainly not as important as stalking Batman and Robin, but a twin should have been. Tim just wanted someone to give him comfort and say all the right things to make this situation go away. The former was possible, but Tim didn’t think the latter was realistic.

Tim sighed again, rubbing his face with his hands to try and get his thoughts to quiet down. After all, he didn’t have time for a breakdown with how little he’d found out about his missing twin. He had to set up an automatic search again, expand the search parameters again, maybe get some coffee by bribing someone, and, judging by his clock which was five minutes fast, he needed to get at least one of those things done before he had to get ready for patrol. Great.

He only managed to get the parameters expanded and ready to be sent off to the program that was running automatic searches before he had to head down to the Cave to get ready. It was with a heavy heart that he left his computer to head to the study and the elevator hidden there. There was so much more he should be finding, but it was like someone had gone to the trouble of hiding his twin from him. Even if there was no record of an orphanage in one of the cities his parents had visited when they were four receiving someone named Nathaniel Drake, there should at least be a record of a four year old boy with black hair and blue eyes that had issues talking sometimes.

Arriving in the Cave, Tim shook his head free of the thoughts clogging it, he didn’t have room to think about all that while on patrol, that wouldn’t end well. It took Tim five minutes to finish suiting up, as opposed to the usual two and a half, but he couldn’t bring himself to care until Dick sent him a concerned look over it. He knew better than to let his inner turmoil show so easily, but this was unlike any inner turmoil he’d ever had before. Determinedly, Tim sent what he hoped was a reassuring smile back, as he firmly compartmentalized his thoughts in order to focus on patrol and the here and now. 

Bruce, suited up and ready, stepped into position in front of the Batcomputer, ready to give the troops their orders. Tim didn’t trust himself not to give anything away, so he kept his eyes on the dark figure backlit by the screens. He felt several sets of eyes on him, but he didn’t dare turn his head. This was his own issue, it wasn’t something he should have to go to the other Bats and Birds with for help. Bruce waited until all of their eyes were on him, but he sent Tim a concerned look of his own that told Tim this night was about to turn into a long one.

“Since it is getting close to Halloween, we’re going to start patrolling in pairs.” Bruce was one sentence in, and Tim already had a bad feeling he knew where this was going. “Robin is with me, Spoiler and Orphan are paired up, Red Hood has declined help with Crime Alley, and Nightwing and Red Robin will be patrolling together. There is no trading of partners.” Bruce said more, but Tim was only barely listening.

It made sense, it really did, but that didn’t mean that Tim didn’t hate it. They’d sent the person who deals best with emotions out on patrol with him because the family was starting to get concerned about him. The only person he wasn’t a hundred percent sure about being in on the plan was Jason, but there was still a decent chance that Jason wanted him to talk about what was bothering him too. There wasn’t even any way to get out of it without sounding like he really did need help either because he was starting to go a little crazy over the lack of leads. Still, why couldn’t they just do the normal thing and stay out of his business until he was ready to do a big reveal, maybe with a Powerpoint and-

“Tim!” Dick shouted from a few feet away, anticipating Tim’s instinct to try and sweep the leg of whoever startled him. “I’ve been calling your name for like five minutes. We need to head out for patrol, remember.”

Damn it, he’d just affirmed their feelings that something was wrong. “Yeah, sure.” Tim tried to sound clear and enthused, but he failed, voice coming out mumbly and almost pouty.

Dick sent him a look filled with concern, so much so that Tim didn’t really want to meet his eyes. “You doing okay? If you need to stay in tonight, I’m sure I can handle it. We are patrolling together all week after all.”

Tim just sighed as he headed to his bike, letting his silence speak for itself. This wasn’t going to be very fun, but Tim had dealt with worse, he’d get through this. There was no way that Dick would be able to get any information out of him because this was far too personal of an issue to even think about sharing with any of the others. He’d even made it look like he was looking into just a regular missing person so the others would assume he was avoiding the issue- Oh. Now he saw his mistake, but it was too late to change any of that. How hard could it be to avoid Dick’s attempts to talk about it anyway?

~`~`~

The answer is very hard. 

Tim had only endured three days of questions during patrol and subtler questions during the day if regular civilians were around, but he was already nearly at his wit’s end. There’d been no time for doing any searching while Dick and occasionally one or two of the others were needling him to try and find out what he’s hiding from them, and the lack of progress was already bad enough when he was doing something to try and change that. Now, with no progress and no way to attempt to make progress, he was getting increasingly irritable at an exponential rate, and there was no way that he could make their questions stop.

In a desperate attempt at doing something to throw them off the scent and get his itching to research to go away, he’d started looking into Danny again, even though he’d promised himself that he would leave them alone. Drastic times called for drastic measures, and the drastic measures had yielded results. He’d learned a lot about Danny’s backstory, but he refused to share any of it with anyone but Jason, the only one who hadn’t needled him about the search into his twin or let him be needled over it. Danny had been adopted at a young age into a family that seemed like it was at the very least neglective.

The recent name change from Daniel Fenton to Danny Nightingale had come when their adoptive father, who researched ghosts from a scientific standpoint with their adoptive mother, had declared that they were possessed and needed to be hunted down in order to be freed from “the ghastly ghost, er-, ecto entity possessing my baby boy,” which just sounded like it would lead to the vivisection of someone that Tim was becoming close with. Tim had started helping the people leading the man, named Jack Fenton, on a wild goose chase in between bouts of trying and failing to find enough private time to search for Neil.

Jason had told Danny that he and Tim had been alerted by an anonymous hacker as to their backstory, and Tim had even offered to see if the hacker would help send all the evidence to the Justice League to get help. Danny had declined their offers, simply stating that there were already plans in motion to fix the situation. Tim had continued helping with whatever he caught the mysterious helpers doing, not looking into it anymore at Danny’s request. Normally, a request for privacy wouldn’t totally stop him from trying to help, but Tim was currently on the receiving end of a massive invasion of privacy. 

For once, as Tim headed out for the fourth day of patrol with Dick, he wished that it wouldn’t be a quiet night in Gotham. He didn’t go far enough to wish for an Arkham breakout because Danny was on shift, but if the interrogation tactics continued tonight, he didn’t know how long he could stay away from that topic. There was only so long he could avoid answering the questions without tipping them all off that it was something worth looking into, so the only way out of this situation was for higher priority tasks to swamp them until they didn’t remember what they wanted to look into in the first place.

Tim’s wishes were answered for the first half of the night, the patrol route he and Dick were on was too busy for any idle conversation, and Tim felt himself start to relax for the first time in days. It was nice to just focus on the flow of the fight, what the bad guy’s goal might be, and the quickest way to stop whatever that goal was. He was finally having a good time on patrol like he usually did. 

Sadly, as they always say, all good things must come to an end. The second half of the night was oddly quiet, suspiciously quiet. Tim suspected that the others might be making sure he and Dick had enough of a quiet night for the interrogation to continue. He could only block out Dick’s questions for so long before his own worry about missing something relevant to any sort of case would make him tune back in, but he’d take his chances that he could hold out for the rest of the night.

Over and over he told himself the plan: Make it to the end of patrol and then retreat to the separate apartment he’d gotten just for this purpose, tricked out with so many traps and defenses that only those expressly trained in breaking in should be able to get in uninvited. It had been tested by everyone at one point or another, and only Cass or Damian had managed to sneak in without alerting Tim. Tim had so many escape plans for that place just because he knew that everyone would know that’s where he goes for privacy.

Tim tuned back into what Dick was saying, not wanting to get so lost in his head that he missed something. “Come on, you can tell me anything. I won’t get mad or call you stupid or anything like that.” Dick’s tone was imploring, but Tim just rolled his eyes in response, too used to this form of questioning to crack now. There was only a couple of minutes left and then he could escape this stupid conversation. “Tim,” Dick whined, elongating his name to comical proportions, “we’re family.”

That sentence turned Tim’s blood to ice. It was the phrase his parents always used when they wanted something out of him. “Do it for the family.” They’d say. “We’re family, Tim.” They’d use it like a reprimand or a prayer. Family was supposed to be something sacred, yet they’d thrown a member of their family away just because they thought they’d have enough with just Tim. They’d thrown him away too, even though they put a roof over his head and occasionally stocked food at the manor. “Tim, we’re family, how could you do this to us?” “Tim, we’re family, just do this one thing for us.” “Tim, you’re a member of this family, these grades aren’t good enough.” “Tim, what use is your memory if you don’t use it to honor your family.” He thought he’d moved past that, the unease he felt with someone claiming him as family, but hearing someone he cared about use it in much the same context as those people, the ones who’d willingly thrown away a son, he couldn’t deal with it.

Someone was saying something, but Tim couldn’t hear them over the thudding of his pulse and the screaming of his lungs. Family, family, family! His mind kept turning over and over all the times the word family was thrown in his face. Tim knew he had to snap out of this spiral or it would just get worse, but he couldn’t. All those times had suddenly taken on new meaning, a meaning he hated. Family had been so important to them, but it hadn’t, the idea of it had. They’d married for profit, and they’d had kids for profit. They’d thrown Neil away just because they didn’t see an early enough return on their investment, would-

A sudden burst of pain rocked Tim’s head back, bringing him back to the present. “Look at me.” A voice said, and he looked up to meet icy blue eyes that were seeming to stare into his soul. “Nod if you can see me.” There was a pause, but Tim was still reeling too much to do even that simple of a movement. Another burst of pain rocked his world, this time he saw a hand retreating, telling him that he’d been slapped. “Look. At. Me.” The tone of the voice told him that there would be no arguing, it urged him to obey. His eyes focused on the blue eyes again, this time registering the rest of the face, the black hair and slight scar at the chin and close to one of the ears telling him this was a friend. Danny. That thought alarmed Tim, but he couldn’t think of why. “Nod if you can see me.” Danny’s voice was much gentler this time, and Tim was grateful for that as he nodded.

“Did you have to slap him?” Dick’s voice made Tim want to retreat, but the glare Danny leveled at Dick made him curious enough to continue trying to force his brain to work.

“Considering none of your methods were working, you’re lucky that I had already figured out the whole secret identity thing, or Tim could very well still be out of it.” Danny’s tone was icier than Tim had ever heard it.

Wait. Danny already knew their identities? Tim’s brain finally recalled that he was currently wearing his Red Robin outfit, minus his domino. That meant that Danny would know his identity regardless of if they already knew or not. Then again, the texting records Tim had been shown after the whole “we know your backstory” reveal had included references to figuring out some big secret with vows to keep it a secret from everyone. That meant Danny likely knew he was the “anonymous” hacker.

“Focus.” Danny’s voice brought him back to the present even though he hadn’t been slapped again, and it was far warmer than it had been when directed at Dick. “Dick is going to apologize to you for invading your privacy so thoroughly that you had a panic attack, or he’s going to apologize for whatever sparked the panic attack. If it has to do with a case you aren’t making headway with, at least consider letting them in on the secret because they’ll see the issue from a different angle than you will. That being said, I’m only asking you to consider it because no one should be able to demand private information from you. If you would like to stay at my apartment for privacy, go ahead, no one will break in during that time without at least minor injuries, and I’ll just dump them on the fire escape after they go unconscious. Now, do you want to hear the apology or get some rest?”

“Can’t rest.” Tim slurred out, tongue feeling sticky and stale at the same time, and his throat was dry enough that just two words made him start coughing. Blessedly cold water flowed down his throat, soothing it and stopping the coughs.

“I’m sorry Tim, I didn’t mean to push that far, but the reality is that I did end up pushing that far. I’ll get everyone to back off, so you just worry about whatever you want to worry about.” Dick looked as apologetic as he sounded, which was very.

Tim took a deep, calming breath. “I understand why you felt the need to push, but I was clearly not ready to talk about it. Thank you for apologizing.” This time, his words were far clearer although they also sounded extremely tired.

“Wonderful. Now, get out of my apartment, Dick, and tell your whole group that I don’t want any visits through the window or any sneaky means. If they want to visit Tim while he’s here, the only way through is to be invited through the front door. Go.” Danny’s voice was back to being colder than ice with the return of them addressing Dick. Surprisingly, Dick simply nodded and left. “As for you,” Danny’s voice was back to being warmer, although it wasn’t quite normal levels of warmth, “get some sleep, and we’ll talk in the morning.” Tim didn’t even have time to protest before falling asleep.

~`~`~

When Tim opened his eyes, he saw a ceiling he was sure he’d never seen before. Looking around, his eyes caught on the sight of Danny sitting in a chair and writing in a book he’d never seen before. It was a grey book with black etchings on it in intricate details. A copper double border decorated the front cover, and the pages were a pale purple shade. Two ribbons dangled from opposite edges of the book, one gold and one silver. The gold one was sitting on a page at the very beginning of the book, but the silver one was dangling outside of the book, waiting to be slotted into place once Danny was done. The pen they were using was blood red and looked surprisingly plain considering all the detail in the book. There was an expression on Danny’s face that Tim had never seen before, longing mixed with deep sorrow and bitter hope.

Tim didn’t know how long he watched Danny write, entranced by movements he couldn’t fully see because the book was tilted up, showing him the cover instead of what Danny was writing. Danny eventually stopped writing, carefully putting the ribbon in place on the page they’d just finished working on and putting the book and pen in a bag that looked like it could and had withstood a lot. Danny looked up to see Tim awake, and the previous heart wrenching expression vanished to be replaced by a caring expression and a gentle smile.

“Hey sleepyhead. You slept for a little longer than I thought you would.” Danny’s voice was gentle and quiet, but, now that Tim thought about it, their voice was always quiet, it just sometimes carried farther.

“What were you writing?” Tim asked, unable to stop the question.

“Letters.” Danny’s face and voice were sad, their eyes dropping to the floor. “I was writing letters for someone who might never read them.”

“That’s sad.” Tim commented, deciding to not just suddenly clam up, he trusted Danny, as impossible as that’d once seemed.

Danny laughed gently yet sadly. “I won’t disagree with you there, but I will note that it is also a hopeful action. Writing the letters gives me hope that they may someday be able to read them, although that might be all for the wrong reasons.”

“Can I read them?” Tim asked, wanting to keep the easy conversation flowing even if he knew that it would end and what the answer would be.

“No. It’s written in a code I developed with that person, so I don’t think you can read it. Also, it’s a little too personal for that Little Bird.” Danny shook his head softly, and his tone remained gentle. “Would you like some breakfast?”

Tim blinked in surprise at the sudden question. “Yes… You aren’t going to ask about what I’m hiding?”

Danny lifted his shoulders and then lifted Tim with deceptive ease. “Nah. It’s not my place to ask that, you’ll talk when you’re ready. Worry about talking after breakfast because I’m sure we only have so much more time before I get a visit from the Batfam.” Danny continued to ramble on about numerous topics, none of which were important, allowing Tim to just relax without giving his brain enough downtime to start overthinking things again. 

Danny was right, Tim decided, he needed to talk to his family about searching for his twin. Not because they were his family, or because they could help him out with it, or anything like that, but because it was the right thing to do. He wanted to tell them, and that was reason enough. Months in the making, he was finally ready to tell them about his twin. And, okay, it was partly because they were his family and they could help, they were willing to help. In fact, all the trouble he’d gone through with them recently was them trying to help. 

~`~`~

It took a surprising two hours for Tim’s family to come try and visit him. Although he understood a little more about why when he saw that it was the entire Wayne family, including Alfred and Jason. Still, Tim had apparently been sleeping for a long time, so he thought that they’d had time to get ready to ask Danny if they could visit. 

When everyone was settled down with various drinks of choice in hand, although the space was a little too small for so many of them to gather if only because there weren’t enough regular seats causing Danny to drag bean bags from a random closet, Tim couldn���t hold back that question. “What took so long? Breakfast got done two hours ago?”

Jason snorted in amusement. “It turns out that Danny can be fairly scary. I don’t know how much you remember from the whole mess, but Danny managed to do his own version of an Alfred Stare with really good results. They tried to visit earlier, but Danny chewed them out for it. Cass said she thought she’d be caught if she tried to sneak in, and Damian said that all of us together couldn’t beat Danny in a fight if they were incompetent enough to not heed our warnings that what they were doing was the wrong way to go about things. After that, they just decided to invade my apartment until Danny texted me that it was okay to come over.”

Tim considered this for a few moments. “Makes sense.” He turned to Danny. “Speaking of the panic attack, why did you slap me?” Bruce made a noise of concern that didn’t go anywhere with Alfred and Danny immediately glaring at him.

“Dick was nearly in a frenzy because he’d already tried all the normal tactics, so I knew nothing typical would really work. At first, he didn’t want me to help out or really tell me anything because you two were in costume, but then I told him I already knew who you guys were and to bring you inside while I got Jason for any ideas he could give. Jason brought up how we could get a square of a certain color and that should snap you out of it, but he did admit it could send you into an entirely different panic attack, thus that idea got tossed out but it reminded me of something else. You can probably guess the situation, but I’d once met someone who was used to fighting to the extent that it was almost an instinct. When they had a panic attack bad enough that they weren’t processing anything they were seeing or hearing, I’d have to slap them or sometimes spar with them to get them to come down from that. Something about your brain autofocusing on the present to do threat assessment and stuff like that, I don’t really know all the science behind why it works. It doesn’t work for everyone, but I took a gamble that ended up working by slapping you.”

“Oh. Okay. That makes sense.” Tim blinked, thinking through everything Danny had said. He figured that the situation they were talking about had something to do with ghosts.

“Now, I’m sure they all have something they want to say or express, but that’s something to be done between family members. This is a meeting for Tim, so I’ll keep this short. I will not tell anyone about your identities. In fact, if that situation never happened, nor anything like it, you all would have no idea that I know who you are. I don’t need a lecture or a threat about keeping it a secret because I was already doing so. I won’t use it as leverage or anything like that either. To be clear, your secret is safe with me, no matter who or what is after it.” Danny fixed Bruce with an intense stare the entire time he was talking, even though the words were directed at all of them, making it very clear that Bruce was the main person the message was intended for.

“Well,” Dick drew it out comically, clearly trying to break the tension in the room, “I, for one, am happy that you know about our identities because you were able to help Tim when I wasn’t. Thanks for that.” There was a lot of sincerity in Dick’s voice despite how the inflection made it sound teasing.

Danny laughed gently, and the tension broke. “I would’ve tried to help the idiot vigilante on my fire escape because he got the wrong window in his panic whether or not I knew the identity of him. However, as I said earlier, this conversation is for Tim. What he uses this conversation for is up to him. He could explain what he’s hiding, tell all of us to buzz off, tell those of you who invaded his privacy or stood aside as his privacy was invaded what for, or whatever else he wants, within reason, and he’d have my complete support for it.” Danny’s voice was not quite as warm as it usually was, letting everyone who already knew him know that he was serious about this.

“Fair enough.” Jason grinned, twisting to look at Tim with a wolfish grin that somehow made Tim feel comforted. “The floor is yours Timmy, what would you like to say?” The way Jason was leaning towards Tim probably looked aggressive to others, but Tim saw it as Jason nonverbally telling him that he had someone in his corner, aside from Danny. It was comforting.

“The case I’ve not been telling you guys about is a personal one. I’d like no interruptions while I talk, or I might not be able to get it all out.” Tim spoke clearly and as calmly as possible despite the panic starting to creep in slightly. He didn’t really want to have to share what his parents had told him, but it was clear he wasn’t getting anywhere on his own.

“Go ahead Baby Bird.” Dick said, everything about him screaming gentle encouragement. Huh, Tim didn’t know anyone outside of Alfred who could get the people of his family to wisen up about their stupidity this quickly. Well, he didn’t know anyone else before now.

“On my eighteenth birthday, I visited Janet and Jack, like I always do for important family events.” Tim paused to take a deep breath, looking up to see understanding dawn on Dick’s face. Sometimes being part of a detective family meant things got picked up even if you weren’t sure you wanted them to be. This was sometimes. “They said that they had something important to tell me now that they were no longer responsible for me.” Another pause, another deep breath. “They told me that they’d lied to me and convinced me when I was around four or five that I’d simply had an imaginary friend named Nathaniel. Turns out, I’d had a twin that they’d taken along on a work trip and abandoned at a random orphanage because I was doing slightly better in school, and they weren’t seeing enough of a return on their investment.” Tim spit the last word, talking about the situation, even the bare bones of it, was making him just as disgusted with the people who’d brought him into this world as he’d felt that day. “I’ve been looking for Neil since then, but I haven’t been able to find anything. I didn’t want to bring it up to anyone because it felt too personal, but I just. Can’t. Find. Anything.” Tim couldn’t bring himself to look up and find out what anyone’s face looked like, it would just make everything far too real… again.

The silence stretched on for a long time. “Did Janet and Jack say they left your twin at an orphanage, or did they just say they left him in the care of the town they were at?” Danny’s thoughtful voice prompted Tim to look up and see his face looking just as thoughtful, head tilted slightly and one hand on the chin.

“I think it was, care of the town, why?” Tim asked hesitantly, wondering where Danny’s thoughts were.

“I thought as much.” Danny sighed. “Janet and Jack sound like the kind of jerks who make themselves sound better no matter who they’re talking to. It’s much more likely that they simply abandoned Nathaniel somewhere close to the orphanage, maybe even with no warning or explanation to the child. I have someone I could talk to about this while I’m out of town soon, but it’ll likely take him a while to get any results about this.”

The family looked like Tim felt, horrified. He hadn’t even considered that the two would even do something like that to their own flesh and blood. Then again, look at all they’d done to him. They hadn’t even noticed when he started running away from the house to go be Robin, they hadn’t known anything about him except for the things the public could know, and they only told him about his sibling when he was no longer legally their problem. It was exactly the kind of thing they’d do. Tim knew his expression was probably sinking even more with his thoughts, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about that with the new, awful revelation about two people he was increasingly disgusted to be related to.

“They-” Jason cut himself off, sounding absolutely furious. “You know someone who could find information better than the Bats?” It was clear to Tim what Jason was doing. He was focusing on the safer topic to avoid triggering one of his Green Fits, as the family sometimes called them.

Danny shocked everyone by laughing. “Sorry, sorry, I shouldn’t laugh when you don’t know. I know a person who knows quite a bit more than all of you combined, but he doesn’t always like to tell me things because I accidentally lost one of his books once. We’re on much better terms now that I’ve somehow added to his collection, but he might delay my information request just because of that. Also,” Danny eyed Bruce, amusement still clear on their face despite the fact that Bruce was starting to glare at them, clearly annoyed at how well Danny seemed to know what he was thinking, “I don’t question his methods because I don’t want to get on his bad side again, once was bad enough.”

“What happened when you got on his bad side?” Dick questioned, clearly, to Tim at least, cutting off Bruce before he could ask any insensitive questions.

“Hmm?” Danny seemed slightly thrown by the question, which didn’t happen very often. Now that Tim thought of it, that might be a sign that Danny had something going on with his emotional state, possibly even due to the whole situation with Jack Fenton. He’d have to ask Jason about that later. “Oh, he used my trauma around Christmas to basically torture me by mind controlling the town into acting out one of the Christmas classics.” Everyone who’d already met Danny was already used to Danny dropping absolutely insane facts about life before Gotham because he didn’t seem to know what normal was. Bruce and Alfred looked pretty shocked and at least mildly horrified.

“He did what?” Jason sounded like he was holding back laughter, and Bruce and Alfred turned horrified looks onto him, which he obviously noticed and just as obviously ignored.

Danny laughed out loud, a big, full laugh that a person usually does when they’re really happy or going insane. It wasn’t a sound often heard in Gotham because of the Joker, but this laugh sounded so distant from the Joker that Tim barely even thought of the comparison. This time Babs and Duke, those of them who hadn’t hung around Danny as much, joined Alfred and Bruce, those who’d never met Danny before this, in turning shocked and stunned looks at Danny.

“He somehow mind controlled the entire town to act out a Christmas Classic, rhyming and all, just because I lost one of his books. Turns out that he isn’t such a bad guy when his library isn’t messed with, but I’d rather not get into all the mess that went into our meeting and stuff like that.” Danny wiped at their eyes because the laughter had actually made Danny start crying. Tim hadn’t seen that happen before, at least, not with Danny.

“How do you know so much about us when it’s only been a few months since you arrived?” Bruce asked the question quickly, like he’d lost control of his mouth. The Bats, and likely Danny too, knew that he’d asked the question purposefully. Tim reasoned that Bruce probably waited for so long to get a read on Danny’s character, and, by doing it the way he did, Bruce had made it appear like he’d lost patience instead of the truth which was that he’d waited for Danny to feel comfortable enough that it was less likely for him to lie.

Instead of looking shocked or losing the amusement that had been dancing in Danny’s eyes since the mysterious informant had been brought up Danny simply smiled wider and said, “My sister is in training to become either a therapist or a psychiatrist, and she used to spend time with me by having me learn psychology along with her. I did the same for my hobby as a way to show that we care for each other. This means that I’m very good at reading people. On top of that, I’d figured out your identities before ever reaching Gotham, but I didn’t do very much digging until it might have been vital to my survival here. On top of that, my sister would constantly ask for my help proofreading papers she’d written about vigilantes and how their work impacted their lives, often using the Bats as people she’d study to fuel said papers. She hasn’t published them, but I still read them. I’ve always been good at reading people, this is just a step up from that.”

“So you’re saying you don’t exactly know a lot about us, you just know what we’re most likely to do based on what our behavior has been.” Bruce said it in a calm voice, but Tim could see the shock that he was hiding behind the calm facade. He understood it, no one had ever done anything like that before, never figured them out to that level.

“Yes and no. I know a decent amount about those of you who have hung out with me a lot because we’ve been talking about ourselves and all that jazz, but I don’t know too much about those of you who haven’t hung out with me as much, met me at all, or told me about themselves. I may be observant, but I try to stay away from assumptions as much as possible.” Danny seemed to be relaxed now, not as stiff or harsh.

Damian shifted slightly, drawing Tim’s attention. There was an odd look on Damian’s face that vanished too quickly for Tim to get a good look at. When Damian noticed Tim staring at him, Damian sent him an aggressive “What?” type of look. Tim just shrugged his shoulders while rolling his eyes before refocusing on the main conversation.

Bruce nodded in understanding. “I see. Why did you decide to work at Arkham Asylum?” Tim rolled his eyes again at the interrogation tone all the Bats and Birds knew so well.

“I didn’t.” Tim blinked in shock at the simple answer said in one of Danny’s most neutral voices. “When I decided to move here I was handed an application and told to fill it out so that I could get a job lined up for me because I don’t do well with being idle, never have. It was only as I was filling it out that I learned it was for Arkham, and when I brought up concerns about working there the response I received was filled with reasons to work there, the least of which being I might be able to beat up a clown with no real repercussions.”

“Why do you hate clowns so much?” Tim found himself asking. Oops, he’d meant to keep that thought to himself to look over later. That always seemed to happen around Danny though, Tim speaking his thoughts before he’d fully processed that he was going to.

“Let’s just say an event in my childhood that nearly resulted in the deaths of myself, my best friends, and several of the other people in my hometown was orchestrated by a clown looking ringmaster who only further leaned into the clown vibes as time went on. Moving on from that though, this is your conversation Tim, so do you want help with the search for Nathaniel? What do you want out of this conversation?” Danny seemed very uncomfortable with the topic of conversation before he switched it, so Tim wasn’t too frustrated at the abrupt topic shift.

“I would like some help with the search. Any information is a good thing, and I hope to one day reunite with Nathaniel. That being said, I don’t know how much you guys can help because I’ve already covered a lot of ground in this investigation.” Tim kept his voice neutral, not wanting to show how badly the lack of progress was damaging his hope, any more than he already had.

Jason hummed thoughtfully. “Which town did they desert your twin in?”

“I don’t know, they never told me. The majority of their work trips the year they left Neil were in the state of Illinois, so that’s where I’ve been focusing most of my efforts.” Tim settled in for a long conversation about the ground he’d already covered, but it would all be worth it in the end if only he got to see Neil again. He only hoped he hadn’t made the wrong decision by including more people in the search, too many cooks in the kitchen and all that. Maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t have tried to keep all of this to himself. His was a family of detectives after all. Now wasn’t the time to wallow in the mistakes of the past, at least, not his past mistakes. Now was time to tear apart the mistakes of Janet and Jack’s pasts, and he couldn’t wait for their reactions to him disowning and disavowing them. Or wait, maybe he could, they were less important than Neil any day.

Taglist: @blacksea21090 @chrysanthemum9484 @samgirl98 @may-rbi @justwannaseesomebrozawa @serasvictoria02 @treepainting @fluffykster @enderglace @sigdexae @persephoneblackrose @angelofsongsoteira @lazy-bouqet @littlefeather345 @icedbluesoul @autumnwulf @thefearfullone @alixanterm @skulld3mort-1fan  @dulceringo @vidimirrayne @betinaplayingwriter @the-legal-shipper @currant-owo @crystalqueertea @fisticuffsatapplebees @bugaboo25 @dannyphantomphan @botwadtict @kyrianclawraith @mnemovoid @lyra689 @demiourgias @d4ydr34min9 @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @emeraldcorpral @bobred18 @emergentpanda-blog @apointlessbox @pastalavistamf @v-inari @shadow-otaku20 

[currentfandomkick]

Amity legally uses ‘Sovereign State of Not Today Satan’ as their official address. And keep getting metas and various magic users (think the ‘i just want to live on a commune’ type everyday magic users in DC) who end up going.

Gotham going full monarchy and being recognized by Danny as a Sovereign Principality results in so many rulers in the Infinite Realms visiting to establish diplomatic relations with the ‘comparatively weak’ liminal pop on the basis of some obsessions requiring the mortal plane… and undergrowth being a God related to Swampthing is personal hc i can see being leveraged to ensure Gotham’s meta pop has a Noble Line of its own, or makes Swampthing a diplomat. Idk and idc but Brucie Wayne interacting with Swampthing at a gala where Poison Ivy is chatting with Sam about plant science and magic makes me happy. Sam swaps between comparing areas and growing plant sentience in Amity to ‘how to destroy a building with plants’ vs ‘how to reinforce a building with vines’ when she thinks Bruce and his brood aren’t watching.

Mostly incase the US screws up enough that it comes to war. Sam wants to be PreparedTM

Also isnt tucker technically a monarch as a reincarnation of a pharaoh? Him hanging out in atlantis and discussing technomancy and comparing magics and tech while Danny bugs Aquaman about basic diplomacy things that a king should be aware of on earth in the modern age. Why? Danny is asking for tucker!

Aquaman doesnt believe that, but also noted that Danny is given a lot of berth by the diplomatic group and deferred to, but also treated more like the ghosts treat one another than they do the humans. He’s fairly certain Danny won a minor kingship but lets it run itself. He is not aware Danny is functionally the emperor of the dead.

Paulina is absolutely helping Mayor Masters with the anti-usa thing on social media and works with Sam, to both’s annoyance… until they get to bash a policy or horrid take they find online. Yes this is how the two get along, no they are not friends! That’s absurd! Yes Sam did grab her coffee this morning and she’s getting a stupid vegan shake for Sam, what of it?

Danny enjoys helping Jason with the halfa nonsense later but doesnt admit to being a halfa. He says he helps his “cousin” with it. A cousin who when Jason meets her, is a carbon copy of Danny but younger and Girl.

Ellie is thrilled about the new halfa, and asks if he’s unstable too? No? Oh, that’s cool… hey what’s your big thing besides being a protector? Hers is travel! She stayed out of the US until they broke away from the USA for anti-ecto act reasons. Her dad is technically vlad. Technically….

Jason is confused, but rolls with it until Ellie later goes ‘btw can you tell robin his clones are ghosts in the rehab my cousin Jazz runs? One of them really loves baking and another is herding blob ghosts now. Most of them are ThrivingTM as ghosts and are arguing about names and ranks.’

Jason may be a bit mentally broke after that and miss the ‘since i’m the clone sucess story but my original didnt kill me, he coadopted me’ bit

Bruce is going to be so confused when he finds out his sons dead clones are ghosts and mostly took up mundane obsessions and refuse to chose an Undead Country, often stating ‘i only answer to the Ghost King and his kin’ while leaving random presents for them in Wayne Manor as ‘sorry i tried to kill you, i am doing well dead Dont Enter the Infinite Please’ bribes.

Add on for how other residents handle this. Not sure where Wes falls or Valerie—i see her helping with the borders but idk if she’d do that or be more liminal due to the suit and be working on developing her haunt in Elmerton who absolutely joined in the ‘fuck the US’ state of Not Today Satan.

Any idea on where everyone’s vigilante ID in gotham would fall? As Knights are nobility, but would Batman be the only one knighted or would there be multiple, and would Lady Gotham be the technical Queen who lets bruce “prince of gotham” handle most things as she deals with the ecto structure and keeping her liminals safe.

Would gotham and amity join the olympics, or be excluded on an anti-meta policy or other BS?

*slams the door open, eyes manic* Sovereign State!

A Sovereign State: "International law defines sovereign states as having a permanent population, defined territory, a government not under another, and the capacity to interact with other sovereign states."

The USA already HAS several that exsist within its boarders? And there was that Gay Island of Australia (no really, look it up.) There is a LONG history of humanity going "well fuck you too then, I'm leaving. But also I refuse to leave. I am METAPHORICALLY leaving." *leaves your country and makes their own*

And??

Where's the FUCK were you? Mr. President? During that INVASION by Pariah Dark??

No, really. Social contracts, my dude. That is WHY you have AN ARMY. For INVADING FORCES.

You ALSO have declared us, your citizens, non-sentient and stripped of us our Constitutional Rights WITHOUT hearings, studies, or any due processes. Not to mention just desecrating the dead like it's NOT a well known religious and moral taboo. AND attacking out dead family members! The list goes on!

Why do we pay you taxes, if YOU are the active threat to us AND you offer us no social services?? You've all but cut Amity off anyway!

.......*Takes our ball and goes home* FUCK IT.

They are literally Limnals. It's a TOWN OF METAS. Can you honestly tell me that they WOULDN'T look at the Ecto-Acts and just think: "Yeeeeeah, how about No. Hard Pass."

You can have your INCREDIBLY stupid and offensive law. In OUR country, that's illegal. "We can't do that?" Yes. We can. We informed you in a Formal Document, which you received, you had the opportunity to STOP us, you did or could not, AND we got Regonized by another government.

It's a Ghost Goverment. We, the city state of Amity, were recognized by like... going on 23 at this point. We have a list. All Ghost Goverments, too. Sucks for you that you don't recognize those, they've decided not to recognize YOURS back until you do.

Politics, baby~

Aaaw D:> Does the Upset Baby wanna call, Superman? Boo Hoo. Somebody's forgetting the Justice League serves EARTH, not AMERICA. Suck on a lemon and die mad about it. Better not come back as a Ghost though! Your Goverment will declare you a lab specimen!

Now if you'll excuse us, WE have interplanetary trade routes. Because WE can use alien tech from our Ghost Buddies. And the Fenton Anti-Creep Barrier means you can't do SHIT. So *large crowd of teenagers making rude noises at frustrated government officials*

*Justice Leauge taking picture in the background* You're doing great sweeties! Aquaman is? So proud of the younger generation? They really are the future, you guys. Can he come in?

Oh of COURSE, your Majesty! *somehow ONLY Aquaman is able to get past the barrier, much to the impotent fury of the GIW and various officials*

@hdgnj @stealingyourbones

[krissy-kat]

Okay, this is probably stupidest thing I came up with but I can't it out my head, so I'm going to put it out here

An AU where Bruce Wayne is one of Sharks in Shark Tank

(Note:- I don't actually watch that show, I have watched like 2 episodes of it)

The executives of the show invite Bruce as a joke but he accepts

And now they can't exactly retract the the invite so they decided to let him in show, besides it would be his money that he would be investing

He would absolutely behave like a himbo Dad but still offer suitable deals

Some examples:-

"Omg, I love the colour on your packaging, I'm in"

"Mr Fox scolded me and told me I give deals to easily how about this deal"

"Alfred loves Tea, I would love to invest"

"This thing is so fun and weird, Dick would hate me if I don't make a deal"

"Jason is angry at me again, and he loves making food with Alfred, maybe this will help him be less mad at me" (Spoiler he still mad , you buy the kitchen appliances to bribe not shares in it's company)

"I'm sorry, I can't make a deal, Tim already drinks too much Coffee, this would just encourage him drink even more"

"Oh a cat product, Selina and Damian would both be happy, sure why not"

"My fortune teller told me not buy anything related to fruits today sorry I'm out"

The show's ratings went really up because people start watching it for Bruce being a himbo and Proud Dad

So the next season they invite him again

Bonus:-

Lex being jealous that they didn't invite him and totally bribing the executives to let him be a Shark

Bruce and Lex end up having the funniest rivalry in show

[iphoenixrising]

(6am/Prime Girl back to the super random chaos again haha) B A B E I serously caNNOT - I read your post about some AUs you’d like to get to and?? The Civillian CEO one literally spoke to my SOUL???? I’m just picturing Tim, fully aware of the Batfam’s identities (because he may have followed in his parents’ footsteps, but that didn’t stop him from his hobby when they were gone) starting to deal with some of this corruption, and then Dick and Jason are s o enraptured by Tim. Because this isn’t a Tim that is docile or subtle about anything.

As a CEO, Tim loses none of his sass or cleverness. When he sets his sights on someone, he does not hold back.

And his tech and detective skills would totally come into play, of course - after all, so much to dig up, so little time. (And those computer classes he took in Highschool and college? Absolutely paying off)

And Lucius would obviously stay with WE, but I can imagine Tam meeting Tim, this young, vigilant and untarnished CEO with so much to do and so many expectations, and rolling into the fray.

Tim, having grown up in these environments, knows how to wear his masks, to smile as he snatches information from tipsy gala-goers, to draw plans out of the elite of Gotham like it’s child’s play.

So maybe Dick and Jason see him at a gala one day. They’d known about him before, of course - but Tim Drake only became CEO about a month ago, so they were expecting the idealism to die sooner than later (like it does with most Gothamites)

However, they watch as he works the crowd, smile glinting in a way that verges on too-sweet and p, laughing as a mogul talks of some sort of Organisation they’ve set up involving the homeless, and -

The man is in prison the following week, charged with many counts of trafficking, and he’d miraculously ended up in a court that couldn’t be bribed -

Oh, yes, now they’re interested.

Anyways, so Tim starts running into Bruce’s wards a little more, of course. They try to be subtle about it, but Tim is very well aware of them and knows that he’s either being investigated or he’s some weird form of civilian city-cleanup entertainment (and wow, maybe he was flattering himself)

But they start wooing bit by bit, and our boys have maybe one combined subtle bone in their bodies, and Tim, here, has had so much practice with people that he realizes very quickly what their intentions are.

Instead of confronting them, though, which may lead to questions and turn them off from him (because they only wanted sweet but fierce normal CEO Tim - there’s no way they would want him as he is -) he decides that ‘hey, isn’t this an opportunity?’ And begins to help himself to their help.

Maybe it’s a file on some shady business dealer he’s left out ‘accidentally’ when they come over for coffee, or maybe it’s a hint here or there about a drug circulating on the down-low to a very specific group of people, or even notes on a cop he’d noticed a discrepancy with.

Dick and Jason are always so interested, after all, and Nightwing and Redhood are always so willing to help out a plain, ordinary CEO with his worries.

Everything could come to a head one day, however, when Tim might slip up somewhere due to lack of sleep and get caught in something. With little other choice he might call Dick or Jason and ask for help, and, well?

Wouldn’t they just find their little civilian detective so much more interesting?

(*coughcough* ANYWAYS - I hope you’re doing well!! Love love you and all your works, fren! I really hope I haven’t overstepped any bounds with this short thing inspired by your au, but I honestly just love your writing and this concept!! Many many hugs to you and kiddo!<333)

Prime Girl babe!

I was so happy when I saw your message in my fucking inbox and then, then, you bring this to my table? This buffet of clever, sassy, civilian Tim getting all kind of comfortable with hot vigilantes because he absolutely takes no shit when it comes to corporate bribery and corruption, is one of those CEOs that pretty much refuses a pay raise and puts it back into the company, that pushes for more than the standard 2% for his hard working employees, that makes sure they're donating to the right causes in Gotham, demands to see change whenever they support a cause? (The only reason the skate park keeps getting rebuilt after any number of shitty bad guys blows it up is because Tim can't stand the thought of a Gotham without one. Same for the several rec centers all over town.) And you, you, put this in front of me like an offering to the Gods of the Muse that Tim not only knows, but he takes perfect fucking advantage of it to use them strategically in bed and out to make sure the underground criminals, the blue collars, the corrupt politicians, cops, and judges, get their fucking due with minimal effort and no bodily harm in his future?

And like this idea isn't good enough by any stretch, but let's just have a nice CEO facing down one of Gotham's crime syndicates because he absolutely fucked up and he's done good things so this isn't a bad way to go–

When the skyline breaks in and a whole lot of pissed off vigilantes take the scene.

I'm not going to say the Red Hood isn't utterly vicious, or that one of his clips isn't rubber bullets. I'm not going to say Nightwing is banter-less once he sees how beat-up Tim is, the blood oozing from the cuts on his face, the deep bruising and swelling. I'm not going to say how merciless Robin is when he sees the usually clean cut CEO an utter exhausted mess.

Nor am I going to say how much they all coddle the fuck out of him for the next few weeks, stalk him in his office, his home, his commute to assure themselves he's okay, he's healing, he isn't in anyone else's hands–

except theirs.

[warlockfemale]

Happy Birthday @jovialjuggernaut-draws I am so sorry that this is so late!

Bruce’s colors have always been muted.

He knows because he was told by a doctor after one of many tests. His parents had both smiled widely and told him just what an exciting thing it was. How he had a soulmate out there someplace and waxed poetry about just the sort of things Bruce would notice once he’d found them. He is one of the 30% of the world with someone made just for him that would be found out once his skin touched theirs.

What they hadn’t told him was how only 6% of the world consisted of people with soulmates that had one one another. What would have devastated Bruce once became a relief because he wasn’t destroying another’s life by making them step into the darkness with him. He was happy to date around and allow whoever had been burdened with him to go on with their own life.

And now he was staring in shock into eyes greener than anything Bruce had ever seen before in his life.

“Shit.”

“Shit!” Edward Nygma agreed. He stepped back, cleared his throat, and swiveled around. “Girls! I’ve changed my mind!” Bruce’s mind had frozen into a blue screen so all he could do was stare at the green clad (god is this how so many people usually saw the world?) trio stride out. As if Edward had an important dinner date he was almost late to while Bruce’s entire worldview was trying to stop tilting. He was sure the entire gala was staring at him or Edward at that point, wondering just what Gotham’s most popular billionaire had done to put the robbery to an end so fast.

“Bruce? You doing ok?” Hands started patting him all over. “Bruce? You’re looking really pale here.”

Shit.

* * * *

Bruce wasn’t brooding. He was analyzing the situation from all angles after debriefing it in the batcave to all persons that might get affected. Dick still refused to answer his phone so Bruce asked Wally to tell his son to check the text. Jason apparently thought there was nothing to worry about (and started laughing) and Alfred seemed less concerned about Bruce’s soulmate being a criminal and more worried about how Bruce was reacting.

Bruce wasn’t brooding and to prove it he went to answer the door soon as the bell rang.

“Delivery for a Mr. Wayne!” Nina Damfino grunted as she shoved a heavy green wrapped box into Bruce’s arms. Unlikely to be an explosive since she’d delivered it and Bruce doubted he could get away with chucking the thing away onto the lawn. So he regrettably started unwrapping the thing; hoping that Edward was watching and wincing at the unnecessary mess made of the custom paper. Taking a deep breath (and hoping that Riddler hadn’t somehow bribed Ivy into giving up some pollen) Bruce opened the box.

What. The. Fuck.

Those were Bruce’s statues. The ones depleting Zal and Rudabeh, stolen from the museum they had been on loan to years ago.

Bruce slammed the door shut in Nina’s face.

* * * *

Of course someone had noticed what was going on. Bruce hadn’t been able to stop himself from gawking at just how many different colors the world had now. Or maybe Riddler had bragged to the entire city about it. Either way Bruce was suddenly bombarded with reporters from the society page. One of them had the gall to ask when the wedding was.

“I have a preteen son,” had been Bruce’s statement hoping that could clear things up. “He is my first priority.”

In hindsight that might have been the wrong thing to say.

* * * *

“So I’ve changed the rules a little. My riddles will lead you to criminals and this time they won’t be me!” Jason was practically vibrating in place from mirth as Bruce stared fixedly at the letter laying on the table. Gordon was giving Bruce A Look.

“Word on the street is something happened at the Wayne gala.”

“Hrrn.”

“Riddler donated back some of the art he stole. Wrapped with a bow.” And with a two sheeted riddle that pretty much translated into one giant insult that the museum’s director was still trying to puzzle out. Jason had thought the entire thing was great after the director’s snub at the “newest Wayne charity case”.

“I heard.” The wall really needed to be repainted.

“Batman I need to know if this is going to explode into something I’ll need to worry about.” That had been Dick’s exact words when he’d come into the cave last night.

“I’m looking into it.” Alfred had already started to make pointed remarks about manners and facing life’s problems. “Now ‘You don’t have to look for a night on the lawn’-”

* * * *

“You know Riddler tried to bribe me into sharing information about you today at the library.” Jason tilted his chair back onto the back legs as if he had not just nearly given Bruce a heart attack with his words. “Don’t worry, I held out for a triple scoop sundae before letting him know your favorite color.”

“Jason, he's a dangerous criminal!”

“Eh I grew up with worse.” Bruce breathed in deep trying not to let Jason see just how troubled that fact always made him. Jason usually said things like that off hand, just another fact about the world. The sky was blue, Selina liked to steal things, and Jason’s childhood until now had consisted of trying to survive. “His eyes aren’t mean. And you’re soulmates.”

“I cannot tell you how little that reassures me,” Jason grinned and tipped his chair back into place the little brat. Bruce ruffled the boy’s hair as punishment earning a fake glare and slap at his hands. “But really Jason, you need to stay safe.”

“Uh huh. Think I could take on the Riddler.” Not reassuring. “I also made sure to be in sight of Barbie at all times.” Much more reassuring since Bruce had personally seen Barbra flip two grown men over her head at once. Another grin, bigger this time. More of a smirk that had Bruce raising an eyebrow. “I also told him that you liked flowers.”

“Jay lad please tell me-”

“Sir there seems to have been a delivery for you.” Alfred’s face was carefully blank, a sure sign of just what Bruce was going to find at the door. “If you do not mind.”

“Don’t worry!” Jason called out happily as Bruce stared in disbelief at the sudden garden now growing on his steps. “I made sure Ivy wouldn’t be out for blood!”

* * * *

“Ah detective!” Edward’s green suit might as well been the only spark of color in the diner as Bruce entered it. As pressed and clean as always while the man himself gave a small toast with his coffee cup. “Glad you could make it! And you solved my riddle! Very good!”

“Riddler.” Bruce sat down at the diner bar taking in Edward’s appearance. “What is it now?”

“Is that any way to talk to your new partner?”

“If you think this game-”

“Oh please,” Edward waved his hand like a magician retrieving their rabbit. “You might think Bruce’s secret is safe but I am a genius. He’s helped fund the Justice League.” Edward leaned in, eyes darting around the near empty diner as his voice lowered. “He’s funding you. I have to play on the side of angels for the only one in the universe that can understand me?” He stood up, throwing cash upon the bar and a grim smile on his face. “Now let’s get to chasing down those criminals. Quick crime question. Who was the biggest thief in history?”

Bruce stared at him, then the newspaper resting under Edward’s coffee cup. “Atlas News? Where is this going?” Edward’s face lit up, eyes gleaming as he didn’t even bother trying to hide his utter delight.

“The game, my dear Watson, is afoot!”

“Awwww.” Nightwing cooed into the communicator from his perch as Edward stumbled out the door. It was not adorable, Bruce reminded himself sternly, for a grown man to go scampering out the way that Edward did with such a look of utter pride on his face for having “bested” Batman. They both had a job to do and he was yet convinced that Edward wasn’t just trying to play another game. “Just for the record. Batgirl says you’re an emotionally repressed coward.”

Batman never sighed. In public.

* * * *

“Why hello there Mr. Wayne. Fancy seeing you um… here. At home. Working in your study.” Sometimes it was easy to forget that Riddler’s over extravagant self praise and mocking towards others covered up a socially awkward man. Alfred’s rather pointed eyebrow raise before the butler closed the door let Bruce know just how little the household held his own social skills. Perfect match Jason had cackled madly last night. One never shuts up and the other just grunts.

“I have a secret.” Bruce managed to grind out as he stared at the area above Edward’s ear. He could do this, he’d managed to disarm a bomb with Firefly setting things on fire last month. He has given this speech several times into the mirror and once to Alfred. “It is a rather large one and will affect any… relationship that I may have.” Bruce chanced a look at Edward’s face and was slightly alarmed to see the man’s lip’s twitching. “You deserve to know and if this makes you decide that a-”

“Unless your secret is that you’re Batman I don’t expect-” Edward trailed off as he stared at Bruce’s face. The green clad man’s face went blank as Bruce went through all the contingency plans for when this went bad. “You’re Batman?” Edward burst out laughing, hands flying to the desk to keep himself upright as his body shook hard. Bruce’s hand flew up to sturdy the man just to be swatted away. “I knew it!”

“You couldn’t have known I was-”

“No, no. Not that. Well, somewhat.” Edward’s eyes really were a bright green, brighter than any other color as he bent forward to give a quick peck to Bruce’s lips, one thumb rising up to trace the small scar on the corner. “I always knew you were the only one who got me.”

[codenamed-queenie]

Nap Time

Hear me out.

When you work the graveyard shift busting baddies and crushing cases, you likely average about two, maybe three hours of sleep a night. At most. There’s only so much time in the day, right? And Timothy Jackson Drake is not the only member of his family who’s dangerously sleep-deprived. 

So, upon Alfred’s insistence (and many isolated incidents involving brick walls, hot coffee, shaving cream, and a lack of pants)--

A bargain was struck. Deals were made. Schedules were rearranged. Employers and Teachers were generously bribed. 

All for one minor, but critically crucial thing:

Family Nap Time

It was actually Duke who had the idea, to everyone’s surprise. He stepped into the manor one day and witnessed a state of chaos on a scale only achievable by a family of the World’s Greatest Detectives:

Dick had climbed on top of the fridge and curled into a fetal position, clutching a cup of coffee like his very life depended on it. 

His eyes were unfocused, staring into the eyes of demons nobody else could see.

Jason was screaming at the toaster in Portuguese and hitting it repeatedly with a whisk. Said toaster was on fire.

Steph was dutifully trying to put out the fire with the extinguisher Alfred always kept within reaching distance of the oven (for obvious reasons). 

The only problem? She was nowhere near the toaster.

Instead, she was spraying the potted Ficus on the opposite end of the kitchen, screaming ‘aaaaayyyyyyyyyy’ in complete monotone. 

Harper, who’d ‘spent the night’ to catch a quick hour and a half of sleep, was perched, bird-like, on the bar stool at the counter squeezing mustard into her Frosted Flakes. She stared, unblinking, at the bowl. 

Whether she thought it was milk, or whether she was perfectly aware of what was in her hand and just didn’t care what she was doing is unclear. 

Damian was hugging a struggling Alfred the cat like a teddy bear, and standing with his face in the corner of the room. Unmoving. Just...standing there. 

Tim was wearing swim trunks (they were actually Dick’s, and had little yellow rubber duckies on them) and sitting in the kitchen sink. Said sink was running. Tim’s head was tipped back. He stared at the ceiling while water continued to overflow onto the floor. 

Cass was nowhere to be seen. At least, at first. 

Bruce walked in, wearing nothing but a pair of his best underwear and Selina’s fluffiest bathrobe. He was holding a carton of orange juice. He nodded at Duke, and, as the most lucid of the bunch, said, 

“Morning, son. Breakfast?”

He stepped over to the fridge, and Cass was clinging koala-style to his back. 

Whether Bruce was aware of this fact was also unclear. 

Duke was fine. He operated during the daylight hours, and therefore had the best REM cycle in the family. But still...he had Concerns. 

So, collaborating with Alfred (a.k.a. the Only One Anyone Actually Listens To) they came up with Family Nap Time. 

The rules are simple:

At exactly 6am EST report to Wayne Manor

Family Nap Time shall take place at least three (3) times per week

Refer to the Family Group Messages for more info

Bring: 

Your fluffiest blanket

If you do not have a fluffiest blanket, one will be provided for you

One or more pillow(s)

Body Pillows are Highly Encouraged

(But if necessary, a younger sibling will serve the same purpose)

Fuzzy or Comfy Pajamas (and Socks)

Not required

(But you must be wearing CLOTHES, MASTER JASON)

A raffle shall be had each week to determine who gets to pick the white noise played in the background.

Those who would like to opt out of background noise will be supplied with foam earplugs. 

No, Master Timothy, the Bee Movie Script is not adequate white noise.

Master Jason, please take this seriously. Sirens, car horns, and explosions are not conducive to a positive sleep environment. I don’t care if that is what helps you sleep at night, why can’t you be more like Miss Cassandra and select wind chimes or ocean waves?

Everyone shall gather in the living room. 

You are free to sleep anywhere you would like

Couches, the rug, by the hearth, all are excellent choices. 

No, Master Timothy, you may not sleep in the chimney

Master Dick, the coffee table is an...interesting choice, but--

Miss Brown, please keep your hands to yourself

Especially within view of young Master Damian.

No cellular devices allowed

This means all of you

Yes, ALL of you

Even you Master Bruce, don’t give me that look

The Lights will be dimmed, and the curtains drawn.

This signals that it is time to Sleep

Glowsticks are banned, Miss Brown, I’m sorry. 

Everyone must sleep for at least 3 hours, but you are free to stay as long as you would like. 

Within reason

We made an exception one time, Master Timothy

But you cannot continue to spend the week on the sofa, no matter how little sleep you’ve gotten this past month.

There’s actual work that needs to be done

Failure to attend shall result in Mandatory Leave from all patrols and other related Vigilante Activity, to allow for the opportunity to sleep on your own time.

Either way, Sleep is a NECESSITY not a SUGGESTION

Needless to say, there’s some bumps in the road, and a few debates to be settled and rules to be tweaked. But all in all? Family Nap Time is a huge hit.

The rest of the heroes in the Super Community are well aware of this practice, as well. 

Tim was teased about it at a Titans’ briefing only once. (The other Titans are still attending group therapy.)

Roy negged Jason about it a few times, then stopped once he started to notice how the dark bags under his friend’s eyes started to slowly disappear. 

The Birds of Prey pick up the slack while Babs heads over to Wayne Manor to join the siesta festivities (Siestivities?) She always helps Alfred make chamomile tea for the others. 

And lastly, 

Barry Allen, the poor fool, burst into Wayne Manor one day and shouted something about an emergency in space that the League needed Bruce for, asap!

Twelve heads perked up out of a nest made of pillows, sheets and blankets set up in the living room, glaring daggers

It was at that moment, Barry knew

He. F****d. Up.

All he remembers is the unholy sound of shrieking, fingernails, fists, and being stuffed somewhere dark (the broom closet)

Anything past that? Gonzo.

Wally had to pick him up after Alfred gave the all-clear.

It’s become a sacred, but unspoken, rule for any hero outside of Gotham: 

Let the Bats Sleep...or else

[wtnrscap]

Cursed Words- Daybreak

Pairings- Bucky Barnes x Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Bruce Banner, mentions of past Natasha Romanoff x Clint Barton.

Summary- The fourth time it happens, you find out what you’ve been doing by accident, but don’t know how to help. Bucky refuses to talk about his feelings until you give him a proposition, something to work for. And for the first time, it feels to Bucky as though things are finally going the right way.

Warnings- (18+) Mentions of blood, death, injury detail, PTSD, panic and anxiety attacks. Fluff. Swearing. Dirty talk, dirty fantasies. Eventual smut.

A/N- This is gonna be a leading onto a longer chapter with more triggering subjects. I like to think the plot is gonna start moving forward now because I think it’s been a bit slow. Taglist is open.

Cursed Words Masterlist

The clock on the wall taunts Bucky. Moving so slowly he thinks it might start going backwards. He keeps his eyes trained on it, counting the seconds down till she lets him go. It was only an hour but it could of been 100 years for all he knew.

She shifts in her seat, her eyes on him, her face calm, waiting for a moment that would never come. She wanted him to talk, admit his feelings, but Bucky had been brought up in the 30s, where men didn’t do that. Being the eldest of four meant he often didn’t have time to worry about his own feelings and when he started looking out Steve, selfcare went out the window. It was strange to him, to be sitting in this prison of white walls, with someone asking him how he felt.

The timer on the coffee table rings out, high-pitched and she sighs, crossing her arms, “You can go now, James.”

He hated that she called him that. He hates the way she talks to him. He hates her. He knows nothing about her, not even bothering to learn her name but he knows he hates her.

“Do I have come tomorrow?” he asks, already knowing her answer. An unnecessary glance at her schedule and a nod of the head, “Yes, James.”

“I don’t see why-”

“Captain Rogers wants you to talk about and explore your past. You haven’t done that. You have come here everyday for 3 weeks and we have sat in silence. You need to work with me here.”

Bucky’s face twists and he turns, leaving the room with a stomp. He hates Steve. He hates everyone who tells him to talk and let it all out. But he can’t hate you. The reason for his being there. He’s tried to hate you, but he just can’t do it. It’s impossible to hate you.

-

Allison opens the door before you’ve even had the chance to knock. Her face says it all and you sit down with a grumble, “Doesn’t he realise that the longer he keeps up this silence, the longer he’ll be off missions? He’s an arsehole.”

“He knows,” responds Allison, “He’s just been through a lot and it’s hard for him to open up.”

You cock an eyebrow, “You don’t need to talk all therapist to me. He’s being arsehole because he knows he can.”

Allison tucks Bucky’s file under her arm and sits next to you, “Actually... I think he’s needs some... motivation...”

“Motivation?”

“Look,” Allison sighs, “As a therapist I can’t bribe people to open up to me and I’m not supposed encourage other people to bribe customers to open up to me but I think Bucky needs some help. You like him, right?”

“Yeah...”

“So give him a proposition. Tell him if he makes an effort in our sessions, tries to talk to me and tries to get better, then you will let him take you on a date.”

Your eyes widen, “Allison! I don’t even know if he likes me like that!”

“I mentioned you once and his eyes lit up like fireworks. The boy likes you. There’s just something holding him back. That’s what I’m here for. But he needs a push. Someone or something to force his hand. I think this could really work,” Allison stands and looks down at you, “At least think about it.”

-

A relaxed atmosphere had settled in the games room of the compound. A rare day where everyone was home, a day where the Avengers wanted to be surrounded by each other. Sam, Steve, Tony and Rhodey were fighting over snooker while Vision, Bruce and Thor caught up over stories of Asgard. Nat was creating crazy drinks from behind the bar, overlooked by Bucky, and you were sat with Wanda and Pepper, playing a a surprisingly calm game of Uno. You liked to revel in these moments, when everyone was together and happy. A shout from across the room jolts you, “You cheated, Capsicle!”

“I did not! The ball fell in by itself. You’re just a sore loser!”

Tony rolled his eyes, “Whatever, I’m done with this... this... GAME OF LIES! Let’s play truth or dare!”

The whole room groaned, but it took only minutes for everyone to gather on the leather chairs, an empty beer bottle on the table. Tony span it and every eye watched as it landed on Sam. Poor Sam, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. Tony grinned wickedly, “Truth or dare, Birdbrain?”

“Dare...?”

“I dare you to kiss the person you find most attractive, and if isn’t Cap, then I’m gonna be very disappointed.”

Sam scanned the room, his eyes bristling over Nat, Wanda, Pepper and eventually landing on you. You groan as he stands and makes his way over, “Please don’t... Sam, please...”

His lips connect with yours in a surprisingly good and respectful kiss as the room cheers. Sam pulls back with a flush, “It was you or Pepper and I really don’t feel like dying today.”

“You mean me and Wanda weren’t even considered?” snaps Nat with glare and Sam flushes even more as he spins the bottle. After a few turns it lands on Steve who quickly spits out, “Dare.”

“Take your jacket and shirt off. Give the people what they want.”

To anyone else, that wouldn’t have been so bad, but to Steve, it was a nightmare. Stripping off was reserved for the bedroom and the swimming pool, not for late night entertainment. But he took it like a man and soon you were shamelessly eyeing his body. He spotted it quickly, “Stop drooling, Y/N!”

“Am I not allowed to appreciate a good-looking man?”

Steve rolled his eyes and span the bottle, looking fairly relieved when it landed on Bucky, “True or dare, pal?”

Bucky shrugged, “Dare.”

“I dare you to tell us your biggest fear.”

A chrous of moans circulated around the room at how rubbish the dare was but Bucky had gone pale, prompting everyone to think that it might not be so bad. Steve interrupted quickly, “You don’t have to tell us if-”

“It’s fine. My biggest fear is that Y/N will keep saying my trigger words. She keeps saying them without knowing and they keep activating Winter. It’s why I run from her. It’s easier than to admit that I’m scared of turning into the Winter Soldier permanently. The words only effect me when she says them. My therapist would probably tell me that that means something deeper.”

The room had gone silent. Everyone was either staring at you or Bucky. Without thinking, you dived across the room to Bucky, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! I thought you were running from because you hated me!”

“I could never hate you! The therapy is supposed to be helping me move forward but I just don’t wanna talk to her. I feel like I’m taking one step forward and two steps backward.”

The therapy... THE THERAPY!

You grab the bottle and pass it to Nat, “Spin the bottle and make sure it lands on me. When it does, ‘i’m gonna say truth. Ask me about the proposition.”

Nat raises her eyebrows but does as she’s told, angling the bottle so it lands on you, “Truth or dare, my dear friend.”

“Truth.”

“Tell us all about this very interesting proposition.”

You face the group, one hand on Bucky’s leg, the other rubbing your bottom lip anxiously, “If Bucky makes an effort in therapy, if he talks to Allison and tries to get better and if Steve gets the word that he is moving forward...” you turn to Bucky with a small smile on your painted lips, “I’ll let let you take me on a date. A date where you’re in control. You pick the time, the place, what we do, it’s all up to you. But you have to make an effort. You have to want to get better. And I really hope you do, because... I would love a daybreak date.”

Bucky flinches violently, almost tipping you off the chair. Quickly, he grabs you with a flush, fighting himself as the face looms through the darkness. But it’s like a tunnel now. One end is darkness, and the Winter Soldier with all the deaath and despair while the other is light and you, your hand outstretched, offering him a chance at redemption. He’s never seen a light before, and the hope spilling out almost kills him. He has a chance.

“Bucky?” your sweet voice drags him out of his thoughts and he locks eyes with you, “Bucky, are you okay? Did I say a word?”

Bucky nods his head and you sigh deeply, “I’m so sorry. But does that sound like a deal?”

“Doll...” Bucky whispers weakly, and the pet name makes you shiver, “I don’t know if I can-”

“But I know you can. I trust you. And I’ll wait. I understand that this isn’t going to go away in a few weeks. Just... agree to it... Please...”

A huff from across the table makes you look up to see Tony rolling his eyes, “Hey, Farquaad, a beautiful girl offers you a chance to get a date with her you don’t refuse, you agree!”

Bucky’s eyes are wet and he wraps his arms around your neck, hiding his face in your hair, “I agree. I wanna get better for you. If you believe I can, then I will really try.”

The room erupts into cheers, Steve patting his friend on the back with a smile while Nat screams, “Finally! I thought you two would never get past the awkward sexual tension phase!”

You smile widely as a laugh from Bucky vibrates through your body. Allison was right. Bucky needed a gentle push, and this was it. You know the problem isn’t solved, but it’s a start.

Bucky pushes the bleak out of his mind. The horrible images of blood, death, and trauma begin to fade. They’re not gone and they won’t be gone for a long time, but they’re going and he has a chance to get rid of them forever. He knows he has to grasp this with both hands. And with you by his side, he knows he can do it. He knows he could always do it.

[miss-choco-chips]

Robin and Red X

Just a silly thing I wrote for @animemangasoul. Hopefully this makes you laugh a bit, hon! No edit whatsoever.

The titans were having a difficult time reconciling their easy going, funny, sure of himself leader with the hot mess in front of them.

“Uhh…”Wally, the bravest of them all, places a careful hand on his shoulder. “Maybe we should… call your dad?”

Robin turns to look at him so fast it almost looks like his neck broke. Beast boy screams, turns into a rabbit and jumps into Raven’s arms, because the sound that came from Rob’s mouth wasn’t human at all.

“If any of you call Batman, I’ll personally ensure living hell for everyone in the Team. This is MY case!”

Wally hastily retreats, hands up in a surrender gesture. 

“Okay, okay! I’m just saying, chill. This Red X dude has been giving us all too much trouble, maybe Bats could point us in the right direction or…”

They think Dick said ‘no’, but it was more of a demonic screeching.

“But we’ll respect your wishes! Because you are our friend!”, and you scare us shitless, he added in his mind. 

Roy signaled at Wally, the moment Dick turned his back to them again. Something like ‘are we calling the Bat anyway?’, to which Wally replied ‘I don’t have a death wish, fuck no’.

They never really get around to capture Red X, but no one dares to bring up asking Batman for help again. The mysterious anti hero keeps kicking all their asses each and every time they face him, always having a countermeasure for their specific powers or abilities, but honestly? He’s not as scary as an unhinged Dick could be, so they’d rather fight him than wait for bathed breath for Dick’s revenge if they went behind his back to solve the case with his old mentor.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Jason hasn’t inherited the Robin cape from his predecessor. Dick wasn’t happy, seeing a new kid using his suit without permission, when he himself apparently hadn’t been ready to let it go.

But Jason wanted to be Robin. Needed it. All the good he could do… the people like him he could help… This was his chance of doing right. Of proving the world (proving himself) he was not like his father, a complete and utter trash that belonged in the dumpster that was Arkham. That he, a street rat, could be a hero.

So he fought for his right to the mask, even if he sometimes felt the itch to go wild and do his own thing. Because honestly, being Robin was awesome, but having Batman constantly breathing down his neck? Yeah, not so much.

So when Dick, now Nightwing, approached him one afternoon while Bruce was out on business, he was both weary and desperate for some distraction.

Which was exactly what the dude provided.

“What I’m going to show you”, Dick starts, slowly, after he’s checked there are no ears on them, ”it’s Robin’s secret. The only one we manage to keep from Batman. What our ancestors saved for us, our legacy.”

“We are the only two Robins, dipshit.”

“Shut up this is a formal process. Do you wanna know or not?”

“Just… tone down the roleplaying.”

“Fuck off, that’s the best part.”

Curiosity trumping annoyance, he watches as Dick places a briefcase in the coffee table where he was doing his math homework.

“This right here, it’s all the information, anything you ought to know about our mantle’s most important endgame. This is Robin’s never-ending mission. Our Moby dick. Red X.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When Jason approached Tim with the briefcase, Tim’s first thought was ‘he’s going to bribe me’- an automatic response after working on Wayne Enterprises for months now. 

The second was ‘he has someone’s head there hasn’t he. Am I going to be an accomplice? What crime was this, and can I hide it from Bruce?’.

The third and final ‘maybe I should ask him first’.

His -thankfully sane now- predecessor reached the little nook where Tim had tucked himself, in hopes of staying hidden from Damian long enough to enjoy the mannor’s wifi without having to stand his bitching. He sits cross legged in front of him.

“So. Give me all you have on Red X.”

This was… unexpected, but not unprecedented. The family tends to think of him as a convenient alternative to some criminal wikipedia sometimes. 

Obediently (because then he’ll get to go back to his research sooner), he rattles out what little he could scrounge on the antihero. It was, admittedly, not much; any younger hero had not heard of Red X, as he’d been dormant for some years now, and the older ones were forbidden to talk about him by Dick himself. The first Robin had claimed ownership of the antihero, and anyone caught working on his case without his permission would find themself with their life turned around  in the most inconvenient of ways before they could even finish burying the evidence. With Bruce taking a neutral stand on the matter, merely respecting his son’s wishes, no one was willing to risk the fury of someone with Batman’s resources and knowledge.

Except, apparently, Jason, because he was opening the briefcase and turning it in his direction.

“Let me tell you a lil story, that Dickie shared with me some years ago. I wasn’t a good predecessor for a long time ‘ere, Timmers, and I wanna make it right by properly passing this on. The true legacy of Robin; the mystery of Red X.”

“I… I’m not Robin any longer”, he blurted out, though his fingers twitched to touch the contents of the briefcase, to go through all that juicy, sweet treasure.

“Doesn’t matter. Dickie gave Robin without your permission, but this… this only I can pass on, just as you can only pass it to the brat when yer ready. No one can take this away, or Dickie loses the claim he has on Red X.”

Jason opens the briefacase all the way, then.

Tim drops his coffee.

Suddenly, there was something way more important. As unholy as it sounded.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When Damian was invited by Drake to their own private ‘bonding night’, he was weary but hopeful. He’d been trying to fix their bond for some time now, so he could not ruin this chance, as suspicious as it sounded.

So they watched a movie, ate vegetarian pizza (Damian felt emotions when he realized Tim knew, paid attention) and complained about their older siblings and their role as Robin.

“It’s just… a heavy burden”, he admits. If someone can understand his feelings, it’d be Timothy after all.

“I get you. There’s also the matter of Dick’s and Bruce’s expectations on you.”

“I have to be perfect for them, all the time. The smallest mistake and… I could lose my family. But I feel so trapped…”

Tim’s hand found his and squeezed it. When Damian looked up, the older teen had a compassive look on his eyes.

“I might have the solution for that.”

As if he had planned this (perhaps he had), Tim retrieved a briefcase from under the couch they were occupying.

“Dick gave this to Jason, and he to me. Now, I’m passing this on to you.”

Damian tilted his head, a bit confused.

“I.. am already Robin.”

Tim smiled and pushed the case closer to him.

“This is even better. The freedom to the bindings that come with the suit. Open it.”

Curious, still weary but unwilling to lose any ground he had gained with his brother, he obeyed.

And promplty dropped it to the ground.

“What is this?!!”

“This”, Tim smiles, cheshire-cat-like, “is the Red X costume, and all his toys. Including, but not limited to, a perfect holographic devise, to use to make people think you are fighting Red X, to clean your name should anyone suspect the truth. I’ve been using it all this last few months, to…”

“Ruin my life?!”, he yells, because it’s not a secret Red X had came back from dormancy to utterly fuck with Robin, taunting him and beating his ass at every turn. It had been doubly frustrating, because everyone refused to speak about the antihero to him, so he had no information on the man to hunt him down properly.

“Chill. I just.. needed to vent a bit. And this suit helped me, which is the entire purpose of Red X.”

“I...don’t understand.”

Tim placed the briefcase in the coffee table and inched closer to Damian.

“Dick created the alias back in the day, when the pressure of being a perfect Robin became too much and he just… wanted to fuck shit up. Unwind a bit. He couldn't do it as himself and lose all the respect from the other heroes he had managed to amass, so he needed a scapegoat for it.”

Damian felt a tug of interest in his gut. He tried to surreptitiously look at the briefcase. 

“Being Robin is tiresome. It’s too heavy a burden. Always perfect partner, always a goodie two shoes… Red X allows you to go wild, be gay-do crime sort of thing, without meddling from any other hero in the community. Burn a warehouse. Use the rocket launcher B has under lock and key. Fuck whoever dumb crimefighter  you dislike the most up. Stir shit whenever you feel life’s been too quiet. Let go and have fun... Damian, aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just want to go ape shit?”

His fingers were digging into the suit before his older brother could even finish talking.

[amomentintimeblackcattales]

A Moment in Time - Descending in The Darkness

Descend of the Darkness

Fanfiction.

Pairing - Darkseid/Batman Bruce Wayne

suspense/mysteries/police/action/adventure/space/sci-fi/lemon/explicit/pwp/romance/yaoi/gay

comic

batman/new goods/ justice league

resume:

I don't know if it was once, it was in the battle of the dark multiverse alternative versions, discover countless hidden secrets and mysteries, he returns, plans, games with the hidden beings of the multiverse, does he win, the prize? travel through the multiverse, back, in conspiracies and plots, prevent future from happening, starting to relate to Darkseid have sex with him, both have plans, the new god having his own your plans, conspiracies, manipulatives and possessives desires PWP

Chapter - 00001

During their marriage, which lasted 6 months ...

It was a period when he faced the dark world, and saw something that only the other versions would see, it changed his pragmatic mind into something more interesting to see and do ...

Bruce realized that he had trouble relating, his connection with CatWoman, he realized that it was more ... Sexual, not emotional, he had difficulties connecting, so he went to make a plan to end this situation between them .. .

Some time later...

Bruce had to save the world, sometimes he hoped that Selina was relatively well in the mansion, or looking at the cave, but that's not what he found ...

When he arrested those villains, tied towards the police station, arriving at the cave with the batmobile ...

Alfred was waiting for him.

- There's a problem, sir. - Said his faithful butler, he had just arrived from a mission to rescue Kara from Apokolips, he felt guilty, and wanted to talk to the butler, but the air of the issue, made him stop and stop his thoughts and guilt.

- What there was? - He asked.

- Selina was arrested. - Said Alfred, he realized that by the air of the word.

- Why was Selina arrested ...? - Bruce asked walking towards his old friend.

- She was stealing. - Said Alfred.

- What? - That was the worst ...

Bruce was at the police station a few hours later, he asked to enter the interrogation room, hours after she was released.

Being able to say that what the police did not do, Bruce did, without being guilty of domestic violence of aggression against women, much less feminicide, he had Amasteus by his side, making it clear that nothing he did would come out of there.

Being able to say again, that she cried with pain and he with rage.

- You don't pay attention to me. - Selina shouted.

- Women do not go out on the street for there to steal because their husbands do not pay attention. - Bruce said.

- You lost our son. He shouted.

- My body my Rules. - Said Selina.

- Not when you have a baby inside. - Bruce said.

- Since we are talking about my body my rules. - Bruce said, when he received a spit, after being slapped in the face.

- You want attention. - Bruce said roared.

- Then, I'll pay attention. - Bruce said.

Then Bruce was turning her on his knee to spank her, he just didn't do it anymore because when he took off his pants belt to hit her, which was not the drop, in the middle of Selina kicking, and trying to escape to getting punched in the face, so that, in and of itself , was the last straw.

In the end, she came out crying from there, at that moment, there was no evidence, bribing police and the justice to cover up her lack of control.

At that time, when she was caught in the act, and he didn't even think to get her out of there, the anger and betrayal were greater, in fact, he talked to Amasteus, an old lawyer from his parents' time , he helped him to cover up the beating.

In the end, no one believed her, when she shouted that she was beaten by her husband, they put it in the crime exam that the injuries were all due to falling through the roofs in the middle of the escape.

The divorce papers arrived when Selina was still awaiting trial in jail, this time, he would make sure she stayed there for at least a year ...

Reports said that Selina had a fit and almost ate the divorce papers.

He had his escapades, but he was not caught, Bruce should know that nothing between them would work, which even what Selina did, helped and gave an excuse for ending.

It was six months of an unhappy marriage in general opinion, not that it was bad in fact, but there were rumors, that the divorce was quick and fell in the mouth of the people, the media fell on them, all because Lois leaked in some way that he never came to understand.

There were those who appeared there in the middle of the trial, claiming that she was Selina's lover, from villains to pickpockets, who had occasional deals , which in the end became a circus, he was the horn, all of that, all the secrets of what she was supposed to did on your back.

All her secrets she was supposed to have been unearthed, for him and Amasteus, thankfully that Alfred traveled, practically drugged and put on a plane with a security guard to prevent him from returning before two years.

It was in general opinion, a quick marriage, unlike Selina, who was caught in the middle of a robbery, along with two more villains, was the Cat man and the calendar man .

In addition to Nocturne, who managed to escape, but were caught by Batman in his escape , which he did on the way back, when he arrived from Apokolips, when he least expected it to happen so soon.

Selina, in turn, fell between alleys, when a policeman, shot in his direction.

Without knowing it, he could have caught her, halfway to Gotham, on his way back.

Incredible as it seemed, they will testify against her, all for a witch hunt, of hooded thieves.

Decreasing their sentence, using it as if they knew the creator of the largest diamond in the world, and the jewels in the British crown, that she was the mastermind of the crime.

According to her, she should not be caught, which at that time, she wore a panther suit, to differentiate it from the Cat Woman, as if another cat suit with electric weapons was a big change, which did not prevent her from being unmasked in the Final.

Which was a good thing, it would be a problem if they remained married , he had new plans, and he could not stay married to Selina for so long if he continued like that, which he didn’t count on, when he stopped paying attention to the woman and continued with the vigilantism.

Bruce had said, by hiding his identity better than she, that somehow Selina was taken to the hospital, that's when she lost their baby.

Crime exams were done, what hurt most was the fall, it was what the exams said, to be a miscarriage, due to the fall, even though he said she should have stayed at home or expected the child born to be able to return to the supposed fight against crime, in the end ...

Selina had her secret escapades, while he faced Darkseid and returned to pick up thieves from a museum, Selina stole, all in the spirit of escapes.

At that time, Bruce made Alfred go.

- I need a year alone. - Bruce said. - Or more than two. - He said towards Alfred.

The concerned butler did not agree, he offered a coffee towards the butler, when they drank, the butler fell into his arms.

He paid the extended holiday Alfred that would be a year, not to stay there, so he could put his plans into action , actually .

On second thought, Bruce thought it best, two years, away from him , putting Alfred drugged in the direction of a private plane, in short, the old man woke up in a luxury hotel.

Seeing that next to the bed, a personal friend of Bruce who would keep an eye on Alfred and would not let him return anytime soon, so that Bruce could continue with his plans.

The poor butler called him angrily about rights and kidnappings, but Bruce was literally adamant.

What that didn't coincide with his return, doing that kind of thing to a man who had treated him like a son and was a supposed father to him, Bruce laughed and said, that life wasn't always how they wanted it.

Forcing the old butler, for a trip around the world, with everything paid for, to get to know every part of the planet earth, he would have a guide who would keep an eye on him, to leave him in peace, and with that, not stop him from doing what he had in mind ....

- Like you, you can do this to me, I did everything for you . - Said the butler on the phone.

- I don't understand, what's going on? Shouted Alfred.

- Alfred, you won't be able to return before a year, there's no use in that, I need you to stay out of Gotham. - Bruce said.

- I don't need any of that. - Said his butler.

- By the way. - Bruce said. - The cards would be blocked and monitored, for withdrawals and certain amounts, they would have to call me directly , and you can not return, before the established time.

- Damn it, boss, this is kidnapping. - Said Alfred.

Bruce needed to plan, and those plans did not include Alfred, nor his prior knowledge of what he intended to do.

- No, it is not kidnapping, I did not put you in private prison, nor did I arrest you anywhere, I am sending you to various parts of the world, you may as well enjoy your time. - Bruce said.

In Selina's case, that year, he wouldn't have to worry about her for a long time, unless she ran away.

She would be one year stuck in Black Gate, not run away, and if it did, it would be a fugitive, at that time, would have time to plan what to do as he would have neither Alfred nor Selina to disrupt.

Dick keeping away, and any of the boys, and also a plan to keep away members of the Justice League.

He would have a few weeks to plan ...

4 weeks later ...

Bruce got involved in gambling, and it was a bookmaker that no hero would enter, but with demons who would , that was just an invitation, which he accepted, it was interesting to say, that he was inspired.

Initially, he shouldn't have, but he did, it wasn't against the rules, but neither did anyone stop him from doing it.

4 weeks after the demons bet ...

Bruce was falling towards some ruins, there was an earthquake, he fell from the crater, falling towards cracks and with a part of his trunk being drilled, vertically.

He had a pointed rock, which had a vertical perforation on it, its thin point, with a thick extension, pierced from his shoulder towards a lung.

As he broke his spine with the fall, at that time, Bruce didn't know if he was going to die from the hemorrhage, or his punctured lung , or if they stayed alive on a bed .

There were several pointed rocks, close to his column, the fall itself that made him break his column, he did not move, above him, he had seen, not counting the fact of that pointed rock.

That was Superman who was on his side, a part of the tip of the pointed rock, had pierced Superman's shoulder that was on top of him.

- Bruce ... - Superman tried.

- I know you are a good person, but I don't think, I will last. - Bruce said.

- They will arrive. - Said Superman.

- Do not speak. - Bruce tried. - Stay quiet. - Bruce said.

- It's so beautiful. - Bruce said.

Superman felt the hot blood splash and spread on that floor, his body in Bruce's, feeling the blood, there was debris around them.

- I do not know. - Bruce said. - I had faith in you, that you would not do anything wrong. - Said.

- Shut up Bruce. - He requested. - I hear your heart.

- You are heavy, Kal. - Bruce said.

The vision of the man beneath him, blurred, he saw a light, he was a beautiful person, he did not know if it was a man or a woman, what mattered was that he, he was beautiful, and held out his hand,

- Come with me. - Said the voice.

- Yes, I will go with you. - Bruce said, he raised his hand from the arm that was not pierced, whose blood spread on the floor, he took the hands of this beautiful red-haired man.

- It's so beautiful. - Bruce said, you're calling me, he held out the hand that took it.

Bruce Wayne fell unconscious, when, he heard a scream, followed by a light.

Three weeks earlier.

There was a particularly loud earthquake and it was not destructive because of Superman and some Kryptonians.

Occurring on the busy streets of Metropolis, it fractured in some properties of Luthor, which in the meantime was an old building, or even what was Luthor's property, were working directly for him.

In the experts and scholars, and scientists to do studies they were sending, scholars and archaeologists, that they had in the course of research.

They discovered ruins, an old city with temples relatively intact underneath the sewers of Metropolises the whole city, had other buildings that they were researching, among these were an ancient civilization, mummifications, and old ones, prior to the year 1300.

There were tunnels that collapsed, that for more than a month or more were doing the research.

Among them was organized by Luthor, who were financing it out of pure interest, besides that there were many relics and monuments, in addition to what would be an image, statues of what would be an immense bat man.

These were three images that were interspersed with a reptile man like that of a demon or dragon, there was the shape of a man in the center and at the end a hybrid form between the three shapes, there were inscriptions, I would give money with excursions and tourism.

It all started a few weeks before ...

Many archaeologists were hired and he was directly committed to

It was not easy to be poor, and neither was aging ...

Because of Joker, he couldn't keep Batman's persona for long, spent his afternoon with a headache, and headed towards the cave, he was what he thought, going out for a drink, thinking about his retirement.

The man did not speak, if a miracle arose and he changed his mind, yes.

He needed some time, the headache really increased to the point of seeing a doctor.

It was at the end of that week, he had some tests done, the diagnosis came.

Terminal brain tumor, stage 4, there was no stage 5 ... which would be unnecessary and all a cheap emotion.

There were some investigations, which would prevent this, if he told someone they caused a commotion, which he did not need.

It wouldn't last long as a crime fighter, if he, in turn, did not see a miracle beyond the lazaro wells, or that he earned some money that would prolong his life, but let's be frank .

Bruce didn't want to prolong his life for long ... unless he could do it in a way that would have less consequences, Poços de Lazaro was out of the question.

Now, he found that it wouldn't last, he needed some time away, he wouldn't even live, his life gave what it had to give, it did its best.

Lately, he thought about sending a letter, to avoid complications, everyone there, needed a break, a sabbatical year on the cover, which wouldn't really be a year.

It would be an extra life, but he changed his mind, and simply said, when he had an urgent meeting in the watchtower gathering all the heroes there around the big table and meeting.

- I will take a gap year for myself, at the end of the month I will travel. - Said. - And if all goes well I will come back. - Bruce said.

- Today is going to be my last day in the justice league. - Bruce said. - At least for a while. - Bruce said.

- What are you going to do, bat? - He Green Arrow.

- I go on a journey of self discovery, and train again. - Said Batman.

- Will you come back later? - It was Hal.

- Not for now, I won't be going back. - Bruce said.

- I'm getting too old to fight. - Bruce said.

- Many people are appearing stronger than me. - Bruce said.

- I also don't want to go back yet, I have to enjoy it a little.

- Take a gap year. - Bruce said.

- I have to keep the bones that I still have. - Bruce said.

- I want to enjoy my old age that is coming. - Bruce said.

- I don't want to fight anymore, at least for now. - Bruce said.

- I will leave the new generation. - Bruce said.

- So, a year without you, bat. - Said Hal.

- One year. - Bruce said. - I will travel at the end of the month. - Bruce said.

As far as he knew they were projected, like holograms, and was seen on all televisions, just the back of their bodies as seen.

The Presence appeared above them, accompanied by others, like Lucifer and Neron and the others who appeared beside him at the bar, which Bruce drank, he looked around.

His images appeared like mirrors of water, above the clouds and buildings of Gotham City, Metropolises, Central City, Star City and all other super heroic cities.

Superman appeared above the skies and the Metropolis buildings and tried unsuccessfully to punch the faces of The Presence, but passed right by him.

- We didn't come here to fight. - Said Lucifer. - But to propose a deal. - Said the morning angel.

- We are here to announce to all the heroes, a way to earn money. that will be worth gold. - Said The Presence

- We propose to all heroes, they are not obliged to do if they do not want to. - Said Trigon.

- What do you think we would do that for? - Asked Superman. - Do you think we will do something for you? - Asked the man of steel.

- They will not be obliged, but if they do. - Said Trigon. - You will receive 700 billion dollars and 30 gold bars.

Two innocent heroes of sin from each of the cities, without being obliged to do so, must, if they want to kill, in two weeks, 7 innocent people. - Said Trigon.

- The villains are not worth it, you may or may not kill by spontaneous will. - Said Trigon. - Without being forced. - Said Trigon.

A sky of gold appeared above the clouds, and an immense pointed tower floating at its end a box of dollars, opening them, and revealing to everyone appearing in front of all the heroes the gold bars and dollars, and then returning to box.

- You kill if you want. - Said Trigon. - They are not obliged. - Said the demon.

- Within two weeks, you must decide whether to kill or not. - Said Trigon.

- The tower is protected, and will not be able to leave there in less than two weeks, those who try will regret it. - Said another creature.

It was announced in the news, and the internet was broadcast, broadcast on all television channel networks, and nothing else was said, moreover during the two days in a row until the end of the week.

Everyone saw and heard the story, everyone there, felt the pressure and the power ...

Yes, they said only the heroes they could kill.

Superman looked towards the sky, and seeing there around him the black tower with the gold on its tip at the top of it.

- It can not be. - Said Superman.

- Who would kill for money, a hero would not do that.

Superman called a watch tower meeting later that afternoon.

The heroes gathered in the watchtower, if that was enough, Luthor set up a demonstration and a press conference, about the danger of Superman, that even the Boy Scout would not be able to ignore a sum of money with this.

Superman saw Bruce's chair being occupied by another Batman.

- What would he gain to give money for us to kill.

- See how much we lower ourselves? - Ravena made an attempt.

- He could see us corrupt and with that, he would have innocent souls being taken to the abyss of fear. - Said Ravena.

Batman looked at everyone and said. - Corrupt. - Said. - At best.

- Why didn't he choose a villain? - Zatana asked.

- Do you really think we will make money if we kill an innocent? Asked Constantine. - If they said that anyone could kill, then in the first hour they had already killed. - Said Zatana.

- It is much better to see a hero corrupting and keeping than a villain, he has already been corrupted, and they kill for money, anyone would see, that there would be no fun in not having rules. - Said Batman.

- Then. - Said Green Arrow. - The cool thing is to see who's first. - He said.

Superman flew towards the bat cave, Bruce had already returned to the mansion, he was feeling weak, the drink and the pressure didn't go down well, if he had problems to contain Superman at his best, falling on the weak cave floor, it didn't seem like a good situation.

Bruce ignored the calls from the league, he turned off the computers, the cell phones, everything, stayed in the dark, thinking of a backup plan, in case they would literally want to kill, but he was thinking about Superman.

He alternated with wiretaps and trackers in each of his allies, Bruce supposedly spent time drinking, he actually took a laptop and followed in the footsteps with cameras scattered around the cities, following in the footsteps of each hero that each city.

Bruce ran towards the bathroom, not holding on, it was there that he heard Superman flying towards the cave, he couldn't stop vomiting, he heard more than one step, it was someone else ...

- Bruce. It was Dick, who had his hands on his shoulders.

Bruce when he finished throwing up on the toilet, he turned.

- You drank. - Said Superman. - All week.

- Still thinking about traveling? - It was a strange question asked by the man of steel.

- We are not at the end of the month yet. - Bruce said. - But I'm not well. - Said. - Something in the drink. - Bruce said.

- Hangover at best is not well. - Said Superman. - But it is not a reason for that.

- Do you intend to kill yourself from drinking so much? - Questioned Diana appearing beside them.

- What do you want here? - He asked wiping his mouth with toilet paper, and getting up, he was wearing only brown pajamas.

- I left the league, go away. - Bruce said staggering.

- I am no longer useful to the justice league. - Bruce said. - I am out.

- We thought you knew. - Said Superman accompanying him around the cave.

- That was shown in all cities. - Bruce said.

Some lights were off, and the computer was drizzling with the screen, there was little lighting, the cave and the mansion were in darkness.

Bruce fell towards the chair away from the computer on a table in the corner, his head hurt, he was in a rag, there was a large travel backpack in the corner, his temple was aching.

- God ... - Bruce said. - Crap.

- I would say yes, Bruce. - Diana said.

Bruce found himself in the mirror, deep dark circles, thank goodness that Alfred died, he wouldn't see him, with a beard to do, and his hair tousled.

If anyone tried to get Batman out of his cave, Jocker had the party in Gotham, but apparently, there was no one to get him out of his grave.

- I'm tired. - Bruce said.

- We are having problems. - Diana said.

- You can have any problem whatsoever, but I left the league. - Bruce said.

- I trained, you Dick, enough to succeed me. - Bruce said.

- I will not help. - Bruce said.

- There's another Batman doing the job. - Bruce said.

- But not even a piece of advice? - Asked Superman.

Bruce looked towards Superman.

"No," he said.

- I want to be left alone. - Bruce said.

- There are so many heroes and watchmen in Gotham. - Bruce said.

- I trained most, if not all. - Bruce said. - One hour you find out what to do. - Bruce said.

They looked at each other and left the cave.

Bruce looked towards a computer, he waited a few minutes and turned on a computer, he was then on, turning on several screens and showing each of the heroes of the cities.

- Idiots. - Bruce said.

- Fools. - He said.

Within the first week that followed, almost at the end of Friday, all the heroes are included, two heroes from each super heroic city, will be able to kill seven innocents, from the first to the last, the one who kills, must be an innocent without sin.

Everyone there with nervous nerves, they were constantly irritated, there was a clock clocking the time.

Heroes, gods, villains and everyone there, saw and heard what the gods said.

- Interesting. - said Luthor. - I couldn't have done it better.

In a villain bar ...

Luthor was sitting at a table with poker cards and smoking a cigar.

Luthor watches around, he realized that they wanted heroes to kill, who was he not to help, to make Superman a villain.

- I bet Superman will succumb. - He said.

Joker, and some villains gathered at a round table to chat and play poker around them among smokers and underworld villains.

- I bet I can make Batman kill. - The crime clown said.

- Whoever gains something from this, is the hero, not us. - Said Senhor Frio, besides killing for money. - Said Cold.

- I don't see, Batman killing around, not even for money. - Said Mr Frio.

- Actually, I only see a Batman, but I don't know if this is the original. - Said Penguin.

- Even if he needed to. - Said Penguin.

- But did you notice anything, Joker? Asked Poison Ivy.

- What, dear? - Questioned the clown.

- We haven't seen him in weeks. - Said the green woman.

- You, like all of us, know that what we have here is not the original. - Said Poison.

- And you know he doesn't kill. - Said Crocodile.

- But we don't know about this new one. - Riddler said.

- He had thousands of opportunities to kill you and he didn't, and it was free. - Said Penguin. - Because he would kill an innocent, even now for money.

- Power corrupts, doesn't it? Asked The Riddler. - And greed makes you do crazy things.

- We can play a little, make them angry, enough to cause a complication and go crazy to the point of killing and discounting an innocent. - Riddler said.

- Does murder by mistake committed count? - Riddled questioned.

- Come on, see the biggest madman who caused chaos to the point of driving him crazy, would be you. - Riddler said.

- Since we're not doing anything. - Riddler said. - Why not? - Nygma asked.

- Wouldn't you do it for money? - Said. - Did you see that amount? - Two Face asked. - It is 700 billion dollars and 30 gold bars. - Said. - That leaves anyone with greed. - He said.

- What would we gain from killing him? - Asked Joker. - Besides of course seeing him kill an innocent. - Said. - Come on people, watch the circus catch on fire.

- He could share the money with us, if we found the victim. - Nygma proposed.

- Since when, would any hero share money with us? - Questioned Crocodile.

- Why not? - Nygma asked.

- Because if a person kills an innocent, since when, he would care not to kill us? - Questioned Harlequin appearing.

- What if we kidnapped a hero's ally. - Nygma proposed. - If we have any hostages. - Tried Riddler.

- He wouldn't mind a villain. - Said Harlequin. - And it would kill everyone in front of you.

- How about we have fun at least, forget that part. - Said Joker. - How about chaos for chaos. - Said Joker.

- Yes. - They said around. - Clinking glasses.

They would try to get the gold.

While the most idiotic, in every way, all to a lesser and greater degree were transformed into animals, in addition to being electrocuted, a mountain of pigs walking back while trying to get the money boxes from that pointed tower.

Among the villains began to occur bets on who would kill first.

Lois Lane was looking for a story, ignoring most hero screams and craziness.

During that week, reporters were addressing the heroes on those issues.

The heights were the crime in each of the cities, they took several hostages throughout the week, in themselves, each time they appeared and a hero appeared, the villains used children as a shield.

There were several cases of kidnappings throughout the week.

Lois Lane was covering the story of super heroes on murder innocent.

- Lois. - Perry said ahead of him in the newsroom of the daily planet.

- You are excused for the rest of the month. - Said.

- What...? - Said Lois.

- No ... - Said Lois. - No ... - He said again. - It's not right.

- It is the source of all Superman's problems, some stupid villain can use you to force him to kill an innocent. - Said.

- Don't come back here before the end of the month. - Perry said.

- Who said Superman kills? Cried Lois.

- Street informants. - Perry said. - They stole a shipment of kryptonite, and fear gas. - Perry said.

- Who said that? Asked Lois.

- Me, - said Jimmy. - I discovered a leaked informant that they stole coming to Metropolises

- Hallucinating men have done the worst. - Perry said.

- While drugged aliens, they hallucinate and kill, even if they don't want to. - Said.

- He may think you are the Apocalypse. - Perry said.

- In addition to making a story about his death, I will make a story supporting Luthor. - Perry said.

- The rules are clear, Perry, he can only willingly kill an innocent. - Lois said. - And no thanks. - Lois said.

- That's not what I heard. - Perry said. - If you stay, I will call the police and you will be escorted off the daily planet. - Said. - I will claim national security. - Perry said.

- Chief, please. - You tried Lois.

- If you prove it to me. - Perry said. - That she will not be killed by Superman. - Perry said. - Thinking that you are a super villain. - Perry proposed. - I allow. - Said your boss.

Steaming Lois went to his table, picked up his things, and headed down the street by the elevator.

Bruce, followed Lois, with his sunglasses, he bumped into her even coughing and feeling sick, almost falling, the woman almost got angry, but turned around in time when she realized that the man was feeling sick , it was a good leper disguise that , being unrecognizable.

- My God. - Lois said. - You are well? - She asked.

- I'm going to get better, sitting on the bench, a little wobbly and unstable.

She released him, when he got up, without realizing that he put a tracker on her, watching her, and then following her the next day monitoring her, and watching Diana's actions, throughout the day, and throughout the week.

Some of them bet on Batman, even if they had not seen him for a long period of time, since the previous month , they would manage to induce him to kill.

There were several press conferences that Luthor made, arguing that Superman was as fallible as anyone who would be a danger to the world, and should be jailed throughout the week until the test period is over.

Wonder Woman was about to break a villain's neck and her sword almost pierced the shoulder of an innocent man caught in an ambush and used as a shield.

Each of the heroes at some point, were caught in crossfire between villains who looked like an assault group, they appeared, took Superman, Wonder Woman seriously, they made an attack, came and went the moment they acted.

That week , Wonder Woman was restrained by Superman who was trying to prevent her from killing one of the criminals who used a hostage as a shield, in addition to bombs attached to him.

After they calmed down, Superman also lost control of the ensuing revenge and assault group.

- Do you think they would really give us money in case an innocent person dies? Barry asked.

- Even if they drop money, I wouldn't do that. - Said Superman.

- Even if it is, it is a lot of money, in addition to losing my soul, I would become rich, but my soul is very important to me, Barry. - Said Superman.

- Yes. - Barry said. - For me too. - Barry said. - But what if it were by other means, like winning the lottery, what would you do with 700 billion dollars, in addition to 30 gold bars.

- What a dream, Barry. - Diana was laughing. - It's a lot of money, really. - Diana said.

- I have no idea. - Said Superman sitting in the leisure room of the tower.

- I would at least distribute a part. - Said. - There are a lot of hungry people with no money around the world. - Said Superman.

- Scout as always. - Diana said. - It's a good idea. - Diana said.

- You wouldn't do that, with that money. - Said Superman. - If there was another way.

There was the attraction and seduction of sin itself, once, it was almost tempted, there was temptation.

All the heroes almost killed an innocent, even if it is an almost, they were attracted to a persecution.

Investigating and following heroes, he demanded his part in his body, everyone thought he was drinking, or feeling sick in the corners, but really, he didn't sleep, it had been four days.

They had constant fights, Superman, Wonder Woman, several sprinters.

His lack of sleep, he was going to five, he was taking energy and eating a lot, which he saw several heroes being cornered, and villains that were surrounding Diana.

Those bastards were doing double work for some heroes, in the matter of the sixth day, Luthor, made an appearance, and invited Bruce to go out together, the man managed to reschedule three times, four, until he could not find an excuse to avoid that find it.

They were sitting in silence in the watchtower, after a tiring day of humanitarian aid, they almost killed or left children who were kidnapped by a villain, Superman almost dropped a child towards a precipice.

- I can't continue to fight. - Said Superman.

- What there was? Diana asked.

- I need to go to the fortress. - Said Superman.

- What's going on, Kal.

- I'm not as steel as I imagine. - Said Superman.

Bruce Wayne, was following Superman, Diana, and several heroes, to a greater or lesser degree, were being tempted.

There was a fight at the end of helping some girls, they were angry, and they went to fight.

For hours, they didn't even speak.

Bruce started making excuses enough to avoid even his children, some reporters, even avoiding contact with Clark, former colleagues in the justice league.

He had deep dark circles and he didn't look well, thin, he couldn't hide, even with makeup, he was pale and bent, he had white streaks on his head .

It was strange even for him, he looked with constant expression of pain on his face, that moment, Bruce was shaking.

Well, he went to Luthor's Tower, panting, in a dark suit.

- What do you want, Luthor? - He said.

- Apparently I scare him. - Entering your room.

- The finite situation. - Bruce said.

His vision left Lex unresponsive, he looked worse, deciding that it wouldn't do to wear his makeup or anything.

- You are sick. - Luthor said looking.

- A little bit. - He said, taking a glass of wine offered, his lips were dry and blue, looking at himself in the mirror after what he felt, it was not scary.

- So your trip is for that. - said Luthor.

- Yes, I have a trip to resolve this at the end of the month. - Bruce said.

- Do you intend to return? Asked Luthor.

- I intend to come back better. - Bruce said. - It's just bad days. - He said.

- I understand. - They were heading towards Luthor's dinosaur museum, taking the elevator down with it.

- You had something to share with me, before you saw me. - Bruce said.

- That Kryptonian, and the league know? Asked Luthor.

- They just know that I'm taking a gap year. - Bruce said.

- If why, I did not say, and they did not notice.

They are coming here. - Said Luthor. - I have something to share with you. - said Luthor.

[nokomiss]

deadtedkord replied to your post “taking prompts!”

more excellent jaysteph bonding please you're stuff for them is amazing!!

Even in Gotham, it’s hard to get takeout at 4am.  

So after a particularly grueling night fighting crime -- not Arkham-escape bad, but involving the Condiment King teaming up with Mad Hatter for easily one of the grossest in every imaginable way nights Steph could remember -- the troops all ended up at the Cave, fighting over who got into the showers first. The troops in question being Bruce, Damian, Tim, Jason and herself. Steph saw the writing on the wall immediately and booked it up stairs to shower in luxury before Bruce could complain about ketchup in his fancypants rich people showers.

After convincing herself that she couldn’t, actually, just live in the bathroom at Wayne Manor for the rest of her life, Steph reluctantly got out, wondering if she could convince Bruce that installing the same shower at her decidedly less luxurious home was actually a necessary crime fighting expense. The water pressure alone had relieved a few lingering muscle aches she’d been nursing a few days.  

She ransacked various rooms for a new, mustard-free outfit -- she had clothes stashed away somewhere, but everyone knew other people’s clothes are far superior, especially when they were Selina’s yoga pants, which she was never returning because damn they were amazing, Cass’ fuzzy socks and Tim’s softest hoodie.

By the time she returned to the cave, smelling like coconut and feeling like a champ, the boys had managed to clean themselves up and were bickering about food.

“I got Stromboli’s to deliver at 3 last week,” Damian was insisting, even though the Batcomputer clearly showed that they were closed.

“Maybe we could bribe someone at Batburger? They’re open all night,” Tim suggested, sounding doubtful about the prospect.

“There’s food here,” Steph suggested, because she, too, was starving.

Silence for a moment, then Bruce said, in a voice that almost sounded sheepish, “Alfred isn’t here.”

Steph felt a little bad about the smears of ketchup she’d undoubtedly left in the bathroom. “Did he… did he take the kitchen with him?”

“Pennyworth is the only one permitted to use the kitchen,” Damian said loftily while also not looking at anyone directly.

“Yeah, but… we’re hungry,” Steph pointed out.

“They don’t know how to cook,” Tim said, gesturing towards Bruce and Damian. “They’re really bad at it.”

“Like you’re any better,” Damian snapped. “Remember when you set the microwave on fire?”

“I didn’t realize there was still a spoon in the bowl!” The tops of Tim’s ears were turning bright red.

Steph looked at the only person in the room not howling about their own ineptitude in the kitchen. “Please tell me you’re not as useless as they are.”

“I’m insulted that you would think I am,” Jason replied. “I certainly didn’t grow up with a butler.”

Steph sighed, and said, “Wanna go make some food?”

Jason looked at the other three, who were suddenly very focused on writing the night’s mission report. “If it means we’re done with the paperwork, yeah.”

So she climbed the steps to up to the manor for the second time that night, and when she entered the kitchen she suddenly understood the silence and sheepish looks.

“I have seen active crime scenes less disastrous than this kitchen,” Jason said with an awed tone.

“How long has Alfred been gone? A year?” Steph said, staring. “And the question is, is he ever gonna return if he knows this is waiting on him?”

 “Probably he will, but he’ll finally snap and murder them all in a dishes-fueled rage,” Jason said, poking at the mountain of dirty china piled haphazardly in and around the sink.  He poked at a dish. “I’m pretty sure someone ate Spaghetti-Os out of fine china. Is this a real silver spoon?”

The spoon in question had curdled milk clinging to it.

“Okay so ten minutes ago, I would have told you there was no way anything could be grosser than Mad Hatter flopping around in a pool of mayonnaise,” Steph said, “but oh, how I have been proven wrong.”

“How do they even function as human beings?” Jason wondered. “Was it always this bad? I mean, I lived here. I know Bruce is an absolute moron in the kitchen. But…”  He looked around. “Wow.”

“Do you suddenly feel so much better about yourself as a person?” Steph said. “Because I gotta say. Really feeling good about myself right now.”

Jason offered a hand to high five, and Steph did, happily. They rummaged through the pantry side-by-side and found that the staples were still intact, though anything ready-made had been ransacked.  The fridge offered up similar bounty -- takeout leftovers of questionable providence, some wilting produce, and basics.  

“Pancakes?” Steph suggested once she saw the state of the waffle iron -- had someone tried to make a grilled cheese on it? -- and pulled out the dry ingredients. “I’m not willing to eat anything that requires a condiment right now.”  Thankfully maple syrup had not been one of Condiment King’s weapons of choice.

“I’ll make eggs,” Jason said, pulling out a carton. “And there’s some fake bacon of Damian’s.”

“We are a breakfast-making machine,” Steph said. It was true, too -- away from the chaos of crime fighting, she found that working alongside Jason in the kitchen was surprisingly easy. Steph stared at the sink again, and said, “I think that it’s time that certain vigilantes learned the domestic arts.”

“Yeah, we can’t let Alfred come back to this,” Jason said. “He’s too valuable. If he quit--”

“We’d never have his cookies ever again,” Steph said in horror. 

“Maybe we could steal Alfred,” Jason said after a pause. “Like, let nature take its course, then swoop in and take Alfred for our own.”

“Share custody of him,” Steph said, nodding. “We could put him on a rotating schedule, and give him days off, and… I don’t know. Let him join a book club, instead of spending all his time with these disasters.”

They spent a few moments in quiet contemplation of a life where Alfred showed up and made creme brulee at any hour of the day.  Then Steph sighed, giving the pancake batter one last stir before letting it sit and moving to the stove, clearing off several crystal goblets with what looked like coffee dregs in them before finding a griddle.  “There’s only one flaw with our plan.”

“The thing where Alfred loves Bruce like a son and would never abandon him to die alone and hungry in his filthy mansion?” Jason flipped the fake bacon.

“That’s the one,” Steph said, deciding the griddle was hot enough and spooning pancake batter onto it in cute little shapes. She thought that Damian’s should be hearts, and she experimented with bat-shapes for Bruce. 

Jason peered over and saw what she was doing. “I want stars.”

“Of course you do,” Steph said, though she tried to make one as soon as Damian’s hearts were done. It turned out a little wonky, but still recognizable. She was awesome. “Gotta be difficult, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jason replied, cracking eggs into a bowl.  He glanced at the kitchen door. “Are they hiding in the cave in shame?”

“Like, it’s wrong, but the fact that I think they are makes me really happy,” Steph said. “Like, kind of makes up for all those times they acted like I was a moron for not knowing something.”

“Right?” Jason said. 

“I mean, how do you master dozens of different kinds of kung fu, but never once master the grilled cheese? I was making my own grilled cheese in kindergarten!”

“There are only three ingredients,” Jason agreed. “It’s a true embarrassment.”

“We should nominate him for Worst Cooks In America,” Steph said. “I really want to see Bruce on reality television, and that would be comedy gold.”

“Just seeing him get an invitation to be one of the worst of anything would be fucking amazing,” Jason said. “Like, congratulations, sir, you suck at this.”

“You suck so hard we want to feature you on television,” Steph snickered.  She flipped the last of Bruce’s pancakes onto a plate before they burned, and began making Tim’s. She tried to make a coffee mug shape, but it turned out looking like a blob, so she made teddy bears instead.  

“I mean, I kind of get why they’re so terrible at it,” Steph said, “given their upbringings. But I would have literally starved if I hadn’t figured out how to cook early on. Takeout was not an option.”

“Right? Only for special occasions,” Jason said. “The rest of the time, you had to make shit yourself.”

“Exactly,” Steph nodded. They didn’t really talk much about how they were the ones in the family who’d grown up poor, who’d spent a lot of time raising themselves because their parents hadn’t been capable of it. She knew it was why Bruce had compared them so much -- there was a startling amount of similarities between their childhoods, from their mothers’ drug problems to their fathers’ criminal inclinations -- and for once, it felt nice to be the ones with the necessary skills while everyone else floundered. 

They grinned at each other, then put the last of the food onto the plates.  Steph grabbed the maple syrup, and stopped short, staring at the calendar on the fridge. “Four days!”

“What?” Jason said through a mouthful of fake bacon.

“Alfred has only been gone four days,” Steph said, pointing to the note on the fridge, “and he left prepared meals.”  

They gazed in wonder at the chaos around them. 

“He’s going to be back tomorrow,” Jason said suddenly, pointing.  

“Okay, so we feed the troops, then we start Mission: Learn to Do the Damn Dishes,” Steph said. Sleep was for the weak. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Jason said, and followed her to the breakfast nook, setting down Tim and Damian’s plates and going back for the rest. “Wanna tell them now?”

“Let them have a final meal first,” Steph said. “Then we’ll light a fire under them.”

Jason grinned. By the time Bruce, Tim and Damian came out of the Cave, she and Jason had polished off half of their meal, and Steph had to admit that delivering a lecture to Batman about chores was one of the highlights of her week.  Possibly the entire month.

It took until dawn, but Alfred came home to a kitchen that no longer looked like it had witnessed the collapse of civilization.

[sourb0i]

A Strong Tower (aka the Found Family We Never Got) || Avengers

For a while, it’s just Tony and Pepper in the tower. Them and the army of construction workers marching through as they repair the damage done by the Chitari. Tony makes a point of replacing the bar; he doesn’t want anything that Loki might’ve touched. But when the workers leave for the night, and Happy retreats to the security desk on the first floor, Tony and Pepper have the tower to themselves. It’s nice. Tony brings champagne and they have picnics on the half-destroyed balcony. Pepper nags him into signing all the important documents, bribing him with kisses for each one. They argue about wallpaper and how many coffee-makers is too many (the consensus is twelve). They take turns dealing with Fury and Shield, for ordering takeout, and then they lounge on the plastic-covered couch and complain about the horrors of bureaucracy. It’s almost romantic.

Steve is the first one to show up. New York is bigger than he remembers, and louder, and much more expensive. His old apartment in Brooklyn costs five times what his mother used to make, adjusting for inflation. The army’s agreed to give him a pension, but it’s not enough. He doesn’t have anywhere else to do. He says he promises to pay Tony rent, everything he can afford, and he’ll stay out of their hair as much as possible. Tony slings an arm around Steve’s tall, broad shoulders (as much as he can reach, anyway), and guides him to a floor in the middle of the tower. It’s not quite finished, but it’s all Steve’s. The decor is all from the 40′s, minus the modern appliances which Tony has ordered specially to fit in with the aesthetic. There’s soundproofing and a holographic window in the bedroom that can be switched to an old New York skyline. Tony shows him the training room on the fourth floor, and the lounge on the fifth, and asks his opinion on whether the penthouse should have a Jacuzzi. Steve doesn’t get it until Tony hands him the keys and tells him not to leave his shoes in the hallway. He can stay for as long as he wants, no rent required. In fact, Tony expects him to stay for a long time. Steve smiles, the first genuine one he’s offered Tony. The next day he’s up in the penthouse, asking the construction workers how to work the dvd player on his floor, and Tony thinks it’ll work out just fine.

Bruce arrives close on Steve’s heels, wringing his hands so hard they start to chafe. He just needs somewhere to lie low for a little while; it seems like no matter how far he goes, there’s always someone tailing him now. Shield, the press, more shadowy and suspicious figures that openly stare him down in the streets. Tony shows him his rooms on the second floor-- close to the ground, where he can’t do much damage-- decked out in soothing colors and with a remote-activated speaker system that plays smooth jazz. There are stashes of blueberries hidden in nearly every drawer and cupboard, just in case. That night Steve makes dinner, instead of the usual take-out, and they make it through the whole of The Empire Strikes Back without Tony spoiling the ending.

Clint and Natasha turn up tanned and teasing each other mercilessly. The looked that haunted Clint’s eyes since his liberation isn’t gone, but it’s dimmed. Natasha’s eyes flick over every potential exit, every security camera, until she’s introduced to her rooms on the third floor; high enough to deter attacks, but low enough for an escape. They’re sparse, since, as Tony laments, she refuses to divulge so much as her favorite color. He assures her, though, that she can redecorate however she wants. Hang Russian flags from every wall and fill the kitchen with borscht, if she sees fit. That’s enough to drag a smile out of her, though Tony knows he’ll pay for it later. Clint’s rooms are the opposite: high, for the watchman, and filled with the height of technology and comfort. Clint jokes that all it's missing is a bar and a babe, and immediately makes himself at home on the couch. Later he’ll meet with Natasha in the training rooms, going back and forth like a violent dance. For them, it’s better than any heart-to-heart.

Thor is the last to arrive, and it’s a surprise that he arrives at all. But he’s there, muttering something about Odin’s beard and brothers and responsibilities. Tony hadn’t expected Thor, but there’s a floor for him nonetheless, right at the very top. It’s elegant-- probably not up to the standards of a god, but Thor offers nothing but gratitude. Like Steve, the amount technology is minimal. For what there is, Tony offers to give him lessons on Earth customs. Thor readily agrees. He scans the skyline, not with the arrogance of the immortal on the helicarrier, but with the respect and wariness of a man thrown into the sleeping lion’s den with only a stick to defend himself. The next time Tony sees him, he’s traded his tunic and cape for a pair of jeans and a shirt with ‘Stark Industries’ emblazoned across the chest. It suits him. Thor laughs and says that Pepper has promised to take him shopping, and that perhaps Tony would be well inclined to join them.

It takes time, but they make their home in the tower. Dinners are more often than not enjoyed together in the penthouse. The dining table hosts a constant rotation of home cooking (failed just as often as not) and take-out. Thor insists on trying all the cuisines Earth has to offer, and there are a few Steve has missed out on during his nap. The training room is occupied nearly all the time, sometimes as a team, sometimes in pairs or solitude. When, in the wee hours of the morning, training replaces sleep, either Tony or Steve is notified. They don’t always join, but they always wait up for as long as it takes. They’re a team, and that means looking out for each other, even at the cost of sleep. It’s not all cohesive, of course. There are fights over the coffee maker and which movie to watch, of old grievances and future worries. They are different people from different worlds. Co-habitation is in itself an achievement. But they push through each time, knitting themselves closer, weaving tighter, until they are seamless. They are a patchwork crew, made of discarded scraps and broken bits, but they’ve repaired themselves. They’ve made themselves a home. And damn if anyone is going to take it from them.